Post # 1
I was looking forward to my wedding but now I just don’t feel excited about it anymore. The stress of not being able to financially do the things I need to do for this wedding is taking a toll on me and the only people that have tried to help is the groom’s family. My family said they would help and support me but since this wedding all they have given me is drama and grief and I’m just fed up with everybody. This should be a happy occasion yet I feel like calling the wedding off and I have one month till my wedding…..I need some advice because all I feel is depressed and just feel like I don’t want nobody around me…..I don’t know what to do because I’m emotionally and physically drained.
Post # 3
Aww, I’m sorry! This should be a happy time but it’s often just terribly stressful. I’ve been married before but never did any planning. It seems overwhelming and we’re not having a traditional event. If you’re still certain you want to get married, all the other details shouldn’t matter. If you’re having second thoughts about the actual marriage, that’s a different story.
I’m getting married on July 20th and even though it’s a DW, some days I just wish it was over! I’m actually planning 2 parts: the wedding & trip to the Bahamas and the “at home” reception in August. I cringe at the amount of money we’re spending but rationalize that it’s a one-time thing. And I’m just tired of all the details I have to remember while trying to have a life besides wedding planning. Other days, I’m crazy excited about it all. My FI gets to just hang out and get excited – I’m the planner around here lol.
Maybe you can just focus on you and your FI and cut back on details that aren’t necessary. If all else fails, just run off and get married. That’s what this is all about anyway, right? Try not to get caught up in drama. Maybe your FI can run some interference with the family? Good luck! It will work out!
Post # 4
You mentioned finances being the major stress:
cancel and change the date so you and FI can save more money (that’s what I did)
slash the guest list
rethink your priorities/expenses
or just elope
Post # 5
I wanted to elope, but my fiance’s mother was mad when she heard, and we weren’t even engaged then.
I say if you would prefer to elope and can do – do it! Our wedding is in 14 weeks and I wish we could go to Queensland, Australia and elope 🙂 I’ve never been a big fan of weddings/big weddings – so i wish this was an option!!
Post # 6
Wedding planning is so stressful but you are forgetting the whole purpose of getting engaged and having a wedding. Its to be MARRIED at the end of it all. Don’t get yourself in a financial mess over it, don’t worry about all the little details that few remember after the nights over and don’t put off your marriage over a wedding. Eloping is a very romantic and special way to marry, especially if family isn’t particularly involved in the wedding. If having everyone together is important to you then scale wayyyy back and have it be a more casual event that costs less and will be less stress. Some many girls loose sight during the stress of it all and put more emphasis of preparing for the wedding day than preparing for a beautiful marriage and being so stressed that your not enjoying this time and getting yourself in a bind finanically will only make things tougher. Good luck!
Post # 7
@cmcollins30 – Awww I feel ya babe! My fiance is on his bachelor party trip this weekend and I don’t feel like doing anything with anybody! I scheduled a spa day… a 90 minute massage ALONE… I’m not sure if I even want to hang out with any of my friends this whole weekend. I feel very abandoned by them and I’m tired of reaching out to them.
I’m trying not to let it affect my planning and trying to let things role off my back, but I’m the type of person that likes to know that I’m liked and goes out of my way to be generous and make other people happy. I had to learn that this one day is about me for once and I need to make MYSELF happy.
Post # 8
One month away is a very standard time for feeling like you do. That’s when the reality of what you wanted vs. what you can do seems to come to a head. It’s also when you get exhausted and probably aren’t taking the best care of yourself.
If you have people travelling from far way, I wouldn’t postpone since they may be out what they paid for their travel arrangements. Just take lots of deep breaths and get through this part. Focus on the man you’re marrying. Try to be patient with your family. See what you can do to rest and eat better – you’re probably wearing yourself out. Talk to your FI, too, about how you feel, and let him comfort you.
3-4 weeks ago, when I was where you are, I was ready to toss the whole thing. I was tired of it, I was overwhelmed and isolated. I felt like I’d been left with this massive thing that I had to do all alone, with too small a budget to do anything that anyone would even want to go to. So I took two days off from wedding planning (and I mean nothing, no tasks, not even talking about it), and FI and I went out to dinner and watched movies and laughed, and then I began to mention to a couple of close friends how I felt, and they stepped up and started helping. Also, I’m ashamed to say that this helps: gifts started arriving, one every once in a while (isn’t it terrible that gifts made me feel better? But they did). But the main thing that happened was that FI saw how worn down I was and started voluntarily doing things to help me out – like handwashing the martini glasses that I’m using in the centerpieces (I came home and there he was drying them off. Surprise!)
I’m still kind of freaked out by everything that has to get done in the next week, but feel restored by the mini-break from planning, and from getting my head back on straight that this is about me and that wonderful man I’m going to marry.
Be patient with yourself. It will get better.