Post # 1
Honestly, I am DREADING telling my MIL that we are pregnant….
I feel bad that I am dreading it so much but I KNOW her and we just do NOT get along!
This is how we are going to do it. For Christmas we got her a beautiful silver key chain that says “The Best Mother’s get promoted to Grandmother”.
Now let me just say my MIL is a VERY overbearing woman. My husband called her a “Moose” when he was in High School. He was a wrestler and when he would win he would get about 3 seconds of feeling like a winner before his mother had his head between her breasts and he felt totally emasculinated… So the team would always say “The moose is loose on the field” When they saw her coming.
She put me in a head lock at DH’s Senior Prom… and these are just two examples.
She is one of the most SELF CENTERED people I have ever met and I just feel like once we tell her about the baby its not going to be about DH and me having a baby and starting a family anymore… its going to be about HER FINALLY having a GRANDCHILD!
Also, she is the biggest loudmouth you will ever meet and we are hoping to be able to announce it officially on FB and to some people OURSELVES! I feel like this is OUR place not hers, and I just know she is going to blow it and tell everyone just to get attention on herself.
🙁 Bees… I know I have to suck it up and tell her but can you give me any words of wisdom?
I am anticipating lots of screaming (happy, but still annoying) And strangling hugs and crying (which I REALLY don’t want) and then it will be all “My grandbaby” this and “My grandbaby” that… and duck dynasty onsies…. Oh dear god!!!!
Post # 4
@SweetartMD: Can you hold off telling her until you really need to? That’s what we are doing with my mother, who is very very similar to how you’ve described your MIL. Once I can’t walk down the street without someone noticing I’m pregnant will be the time we need to tell her, as then someone else may tell her and I want her to hear it from us. Boundaries are an issue for her so we’re holding off for as long as possible. Good luck!
Post # 5
I am scared for you! I don’t have any advice but wishing you luck!
Post # 6
@SweetartMD: I feel for you, that sucks. Can you and your DH work on setting boundaries with this woman? It will be good practice for both when you have children and need to set boundaries with her in regards to them! I know it is hard and can be awkward and frustrating, but it sounds like you really need to.
Post # 7
@Wellington Bride: I wish my DH was okay with this but he REALLY wants to do it for Christmas…
We won’t see her until 2 days after Christmas so maybe we can still talk about it…I would LOVE to wait until I HAD to! I AM excited to tell SIL Who we got a similar keychain for.
@ashleycan86: Lol, thank you! I am scared for me too! 😛
Post # 8
Hope she surprises you. ! Good luck ! It will be alright tho ! She is at least going to be happy 😉
Post # 9
@MrsAKSkier: Yes, boundaries are GOOD! We have been trying little by little and it REALLY has gotten better! I used to be the evil woman who stole her son and turned him into a “City Slicker” (Rolling my eyes)….
Now she at least acts like she likes me, and we have had some moments, but its still REALLY rough.
She THANKFULLY lives about 3.5 hours away, so that is helpful.
I am also telling DH that we HAVE to let her know that if she says ANYTHING on Facebook we WILL delete her….
Post # 10
I have no advice as far as announcing a pregnancy. But I definitely feel for you my FMIL’s first reaction when we announced we were engaged to them was “Oh what kind of dress should I wear?”
I kid you not. So I know how you feel, and I am sorry! Best of luck! And FWIW, I think the silver key and saying is super cute!
Post # 11
@alishaloo: EVERYONE knows how she will act. I told my Best Friend as one of the first people and she even volunteered to be there both to help block me and also because (AND I QUOTE) “it will be the freakout of the century!”
Post # 12
@LittleSassLotsofClass: Ugh… thats even kind of better than my MIL’s reaction to our engagement is… she was with her husband driving the Semi somewhere and DH called and told her we were engaged and she just said “Hmmm… well our trip in Colorado is going well!”
Thanks? Haha.. but thats when she didn’t like me (she still doesn’t, but she is trying I think)
Post # 13
@SweetartMD: mayb. You could talk to her about it if it’s such a serious issuE.
Post # 14
How far along are you? If it’s earlyish, I’d wait to tell her if you’re sure that she’ll end up telling everyone and their dog about your pregnancy.
Post # 15
@alishaloo: You don’t “talk” to MIL…. you just don’t. She will either blow up at me or she will whimper and pout like a child.
@cmbr: I am 10 weeks so its still early IMHO, but we saw the heart beat and doctor gave us the all clear so even though I TRIED using it with DH he still is insisting on telling her for Christmas…
He is starting to feel bad that I am so hesitant to tell his side of the family. I told my parents on Thanksgiving because I knew if anything went wrong I would want my parents… I feel bad but I don’t know. My parents are SO different than his mom.
Post # 16
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
Whoof, she sounds like a handful. Two pieces of advice come to mind:
1) Set good boundaries and stick to them. Being nice doesn’t mean being a doormat. If she gets in your grill or makes you uncomfortable, stick to your guns about what feels right. You’re not just protecting your own emotional (and physical, lol) space anymore; you’re also protecting that of your child. It’s OK to be firm. If she has to pout or cry, so be it. She is responsible for her feelings — NOT YOU!
2) Keep a sense of humor about her weird neuroses. It always hurts less to laugh than cry. So you might as well laugh, if you can. We’re all crazy in our own ways, but it sounds like her particular brand is especially grating.