Post # 1
Is anyone else in the same camp of not understanding why everyone on the planet needs a wedding gift from the bride/groom (That’s just how it feels to me right now). I understand getting my MOH and BM something (we only have them in the bridal party) because they are putting in a lot of time/effort. However, my mother and father and FI’s parents aren’t contributing beyond showing up, same with our grandparents and other family members with the exception of one of FI’s sisters (who also gets a thank you gift). People look at my like I’m an ugly horrible person for not getting my mom and his mom wedding presents, but they aren’t doing anything. Also I get nasty responses when I say FI and I aren’t getting each other wedding presents (what is the point). Am I horrible for all of this?
Post # 2
Milibee13: I’m all for thanking people with gifts but it does get out of hand. I believe the bridal party should get gifts, and for us we’re getting a gift for our officiant because he is doing it for free.
But I have no idea why you’d give a gift to each other? If you want to, great! But why would other people care if you don’t? Is it really expected?
ETA: We MIGHT get our parents gifts but I don’t think it’s expected. I’ve literally never heard of it until Pinterest.
Post # 3
Milibee13: I can see that. Mr. S and I chose to do bottles of wine for our parents (excluding the gift card for my parents but that’s cause they are footing 2/3 of the cost). Something small. It’s our favorite wine and all 3 sets of parents enjoy wine. We are going to personalize them by changing the labels. I’ll design the front to include our logo but still include the winery info. And on the back we are writing thank you messages – thanks for supporting our relationship and always be there, etc. Mr. S is going to write the message to my parents, and I’ll write the 2 to his parents. Done. Something sweet and will only be about $20 per gift.
Mr. S and I are not getting gifts for eachother. We may write notes to each for that day, but we figure why spend even more? So, no gifts. Our bridal party gifts were selected taking into consideration how much everyone had to spend to be in the wedding.
Post # 4
We made photo albums for our parents, and I am delinquent in sending a framed photo of our ceremony to our officiant, who is a family friend, but I plan to do that soon. Other than that, nope, no gifts here. DH and I did not get gifts for one another either. Unless you count getting stuck with the other person for eternity a gift 😉 I kid, I kid.
Post # 5
Milibee13: I think traditionally the parents pay for, or at least contribute to, the wedding so the gift giving part reflects that. I would imagine a simple card telling you how much you appreciate them would suffice in your situation. As for the bride and groom exchanging gifts, I never even heard of that until I read about it here on WB.
Post # 6
If they aren’t contributing there’s no reason to give them gifts. And you don’t need to give gifts to each other either, it’s totally up to you. We gave everyone that helped us with the wedding gifts and that included parents, as well as a few non bridal party friends. I gave my husband a watch and a letter, he gave me nothing lol. I expected nothing so it didn’t bother me (much).
Post # 7
I find sometimes reaching out , you are going to get nasty responses. Specially on the wedidng bee. Everyone has to remember you have to do what works for you.
But i agree, weddings are freaking expenses on their own never mind throwing a gift in there for everyone. Isnt it an honor to be asked to be a BM or GM?
We are not doing gifts for everyone and there dogs, not because they arent deserving but because we personally dont see the reason. OUr family/friends know how much we appreciate them!
Post # 8
We gave gifts to our wedding party (two brides maids, one flower girl and one best man) + a few other people that had helped out a lot. However, we didn’t get gifts for each other, it just felt like an unnecessary stress factor. Besides, it was a destination wedding followed by our honeymoon – the trips was enough of a gift to ourselves and we really didn’t need more stuff to lug around.
If you don’t feel like giving each other gifts, that’s totally fine. If you think people might raise an eyebrow, just don’t mention it.
Post # 9
Milibee13: We spent in totoal $1000 on all the gifts…crazy, I know. We got bridal party, grooms party, parents, flower girl, ring bearer, jr. groomsman, extended family who helped make things…yeah I total get you!
Post # 10
Nasty responses to deciding that you aren’t getting each other a gift is reaaaally weird! I didn’t even know you were supposed to give each other a gift, yeesh!
I donno, I think anyone who was there for you and gave you a hand in any way might deserve some appreciation.
What I don’t get even more is the expectation that every wedding invitation you receive means that you are expected to give a wedding gift. Seriously some of the invitations are from people I really don’t care about at all, never had much of a relationship with, haven’t spoken to in ages, yet they have their hands out even though I’m not attending their wedding, and apparently that’s normal.
Post # 11
Milibee13: You’re not horrible. Gift giving and weddings have become crazy with the expectations. I never even knew that the bride and groom exchange wedding gifts until I started watching videos to find a videographer. We’re giving gifts to the bridal party and copies of the wedding DVD to our parents. That’s it!
Post # 12
We aren’t doing gifts for the parents. We are paying for every dime of the wedding ourselves.
Post # 13
I got my parents a gift purely because my mum had helped plan the wedding a lot. If she hadn’t then no big gift because we paid for the wedding ourselves. Got his parents small gifts because his mum made the cake otherwise again, a nice card would have sufficed. Got DH a watch because he didn’t want a wedding ring, I had a ring so no gift for me! We did get bridal party gifts. I agree this while gift giving thing can get out of hand.
Post # 14
We will be getting gifts for anyone who has contributed to the wedding. That means the bridal party, our officiant who is my cousin and my parents. FI’s parents will get a small token of gratitude as they are not contributing but I don’t want it to seem one sided.
Our presents for the bridal party will be around $150-$200 each but that is because we are not having a traditional wedding but one with lots of DIY so they will have put in lots of time and effort and we want to truly reward that.
Post # 15
Milibee13: Nope, we have gifts to our bridal party. That’s it. They devoted a lot of time and money to be a part of our big day, and we wanted to thank them. I think if your parents are contributing financially, a thoughtful gift to show your gratitude would be nice. However, that wasn’t the case for us. As for getting eachother gifts? We thought it was sort of a silly concept, so we didn’t do that either.