Not getting hopes up?

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Well…I bought 25 pregnancy tests from early pregnancy tests.com and tested starting at 8dpo.  I just tried to stay busy before then. Not sure if that helps haha! ;). But it is nice to be free to test without the guilt of frer costs!  It’s addicting though; watch out!

Good luck! 

Post # 3
Member
3339 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m in the same boat as you! First cycle TTC and I was super anxious/ excited/ nervous the whole month! My period is currently 2 days late but all pregnancy tests are negative 🙁 I think I ovulated late from stress, pushing back my period. It’s so stressful… But I have felt much calmer in the last couple of days and am now okay with either result. I’m going to wait several days to test again because I hate getting the BFN And dealing with the disappointment!

Now that I’m back at work (start of school year) ive found that it’s easier to focus on other things. So staying busy really helps! Good luck!!

Post # 4
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m on my fourth cycle, fifth month. I am just like you in that I’m an incredibly anxious person. I’ve also Google’d “how not to stress during ttc” more times that I’d care to admit.

Personally, and I’m being totally honest here, the first three cycles were the hardest.  But I had assumed that obviously I would get pregnant soon, every woman in my family either got knocked up accidently or within a month (no joke). So every time I got af I made myself feel bad.

Since then a few things have helped. I have purposely diverted thinking about children in any depth (I.e. not planning my future nursery). This one really has helped the most. It’s like when you’re on a diet, you don’t spend all day thinking about cake (mmm cake. ..). Another (albeit cheesy) thing that helped was the following quote:

 

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.

Post # 5
Member
3538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I am a very anxious & impatient person as well.  For me, the first 3 cycles weren’t that bad, we were mostly just not preventing.  I was hopeful but when AF showed I wasn’t that upset by it.  Cycles 4 & 5 I started temping and tracking CM and other symptons and each time AF showed I got a little more upset.  Cycles 6 & 7 were the hardest, complete with a complete breakdown and worrying that “something” must be wrong with us and we’ll never have a baby.  Cycle 8 and 9 (currently in) I pretty much had to force myself to not care so much because I was letting it really affect my work and my moods.  I quit temping & hid my FF app on my phone.  So far, I feel a little more sane and able to enjoy the present instead of always worrying about TTC.

The best advice I can give is to find something you enjoy & things you can look forward to doing.  I seriously was to the point where I found myself wishing away the TWW just so I could find out is I was KU and all I did was countdown the days till I could POAS.  DH and I go out to our favorite sushi restaurant at the beginning of each cycle and do the “all you can eat” sushi.  We are also working on some projects around the house, and now that football season is finally here, we’ll be going to a few games.  Distractions!! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

jetsetbee:  This is my first cycle TTC (I am currently 13 DPO and only BFN) and honestly it´s been tough. I assume I´ll get AF today or tomorrow as I have all the regular symptoms.

My honest advice? Ignore the PP that suggested you buy cheap pregnancy tests. DO NOT test before missed period. I know it´s tempting because you read on here all the time about ladies getting their BFP at 9, 10, 11 DPO but just don´t. BFN are the worst feeling ever and when you start testing early, you set yourself up for that. It is super demoralizing. I started testing at 7DPO on the crazy off chance that I was the one in a million that would get a BFP that early (totally made that stat up, BTW) and I wasn´t! Live your life normally until missed AF, then test. You want coffee in your TWW? Drink it. You want alcohol or sushi in moderation? Go for it.  Don´t google pregnancy symptoms. Don´t symptom spot. Live normally, enjoy all the sex you are having and when it´s meant to be, it will be!

Post # 7
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It’s SO SO SO hard not to feel disappointment when you get a BFN.  We’re on our third TTC cycle, and the last two I sat on the toilet holding my pee stick and willing it, with everything in me, to get that second line, but it hasn’t yet, and AF’s arrived like clockwork the next day both times.

My ‘new’ plan involves a fair amount of working out, so either I get my BFP, or I get fit, or I’m fit when I get my BFP when I’m fitter.

I enjoy my TFW as best as I can with wine, sushi, rare steaks, and beer, beer, beer (which is really killing the get fit thing, but oh well).

I agree with FutureMRS3lastnames:.  Wailt till you miss AF to test.  Try not to let TTC consume your whole life (it made me a miserable person for a couple months, and I let it really influence the rest of my life).

I’m most worried about hitting that 6 month point.  I feel like that’s going to be really hard for me.

Post # 8
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

FutureMRS3lastnames:  I totally agree with this. DO NOT test early. You will become obsessed and it will be a roller coaster of emotions. It took us 18 cycles to get pregnant (and stay that way..) and I had to basically convince myself every month that my period was going to come and NOT symptom spot. Please be aware that premenstrual symptoms and pregnancy symptoms are the SAME. But you never really paid attention to them before so now, every spot, twinge, boob pain you will think you’re pregnant and you’ll be very sad when you are not. I can’t tell you how many posts I’ve read that say “I’m experiencing this, this and this, which NEVER happened before TTC! Do you think I’m pregnant?!” and then AF arrives right on time.

Stay away from google. It’s EVIL. Also – I know it’s possible to get pregnant when having sex every day, however, it’s recommended to allow a day in between to let DHs sperm stores build back up (that includes him taking care of business himself, you might want to make sure he realizes this!). I discovered at one point during our TTC journey that DHs depleted stores were causing us to miss out and when we finally backed off, that’s when we got it right. Every other day leading up to ovulation may be a better option.

Best advice, live your life as if you’re NOT trying. I do think that using OPKs or charting temp is helpful to know when you are ovulating but aside from that, taking early pregnancy tests, obsessing over symptoms, etc, try your best to avoid all of that for your own sanity. Hopefully you’ll be lucky and it won’t take long!

Post # 9
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It took us 14 cycles. Just know that it is okay to not be “relaxed” about it. TTC is a stressful time. I loved the book The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant because she says that women who are worried about getting pregnant actually have just as much of a chance as people who are “relaxed.”

I agree with waiting until at least 12dpo to test because the negatives are heartbreaking.

Post # 11
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Just wanted to chime in and wish you luck.  We are just starting to try for baby #2 now, and while I’m excited to be trying again and the prospect of a sibling for our daughter, I’m already apprehensive about the anxiety of the whole process.  It feels like you are constantly waiting for your body to do something, and it’s hard.  Like everyone else has said, try to focus on other things. I’d emphasize, too, taking advantage of the things that you won’t be able to do once you are pregnant or have a baby, and make the most of your time with your spouse. And I second the recommendation for “The Impatient Woman’s Guide to Getting Pregnant.”  It made me feel a lot better when I was going through it the first time around, and I actually just put it on my nightstand to remind me to read it again.  Again, best of luck!

Post # 12
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

jetsetbee:  Omg this. I have one cousin who’s five children (FIVE!) have all been accidents. Obviously the universe has a plan for me. I hope the plan for you is to get knocked up the first month. But just know it’s okay if you don’t, there are many more people that have to wait a while than there are those who get it the first month. Think of it like character building 🙂

Post # 13
Member
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

jetsetbee:  this is my first cycle TTC too, and I have general anxiety disorder, you are definately not the only one that is anxious for this! I think for me, knowledge is power, and Ill be buying cheapies to test every morning from 10DPO on. I think a yes or no each day would be better than spending each day wondering am I or am I not? 

Post # 15
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

jetsetbee:  I would do the same exact thing, and I’d buy a bunch more tests (expensive FRERs because those are the only ones I trusted) to keep confirming. It’s not worth it!

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors