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Should I be Offended?

not going back to the groom's side (Vietnamese)

posted 3 years ago in South East Asian
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    1.
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    Newbee
    justjules    april 18, 2009   garden grove

    I'm having a tea ceremony at my house in the morning.  traditionally after the brides house the groom takes the bride back to his house and does another tea ceremony... now what i want to get opinions on is that do we have to go back to his house?  it just takes so much time and essentially we're doing the same thing.  if we dont go back to the grooms parents house... would that seem disrepectful to his family?  lemme know what you guys think.  are there other vietnamese brides in s.cali?

     
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    Helper bee
    briannie    mach 15, 2009   oc, ca

    i think that it's a little disrespectful to his family-- it's like saying, "hey, we did it at MY house and that's all that matters." maybe talk to your FI and see how he feels about it. his family might not be that traditiional and not mind at all.

     
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    Helper bee
    bride    July 2008 and December 2008   Southern California

    i agree, you should definitely pay respects to his side of the family. this is if you are doing a traditional tea ceremony. however, if both of your parents want to modify the tea ceremony to include both sides, even though it breaks tradition, as long as both sides are happy...that's fine too. it's atypical, but you are still showing respect to both sides..just not doing the groom comes to ask for bride's hand by bearing gifts, asking hand in marriage, pay respects to bride side, whisking bride back to groom side, pay respects to groom side....and celebrate! :)  so it just depends on whether your parents care to do it right. :P

     
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    justjules    april 18, 2009   garden grove

    yah u guys are right.  it wont take away that much time.  both sides are not very traditional.  i actually wanted to do the tea ceremony... but yah if we do it on my side it would only be right to go over to his side and pay our respects to his.  :)

     

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