Post # 1
I’ve been with my boyfriend 3 years and we have a 19 month old son together. I never really was bothered about getting engaged and married till a few months after I had my son. I take him to appointments and we don’t even have the same last name, I’d like us all to have the same last name and be a family. I want to try for another mid next year but don’t want to if we aren’t engaged or married. I want my son to see that marriage is important. My grandparents and parents both are in marriages and it’s always seemed normal. My son wasn’t planned and got pregnant 10 months into the relationship so obviously getting married then was too soon and getting engaged still didn’t pop into my head then.
I have gone through a phase of nagging and asking questions like will we get married, does he want to marry me. That just annoyed him so I stopped because what’s the point in getting married if he doesn’t want to and be forced? He does talk about where he’d want to get married and we do talk about it but I don’t nag anymore 🙂
We had a stupid argument on Monday were we both over reacted. He packed ALL his stuff and left but then came back a few hours later. Even now he’s still dragging it on. And on the Tuesday he said ‘i was going to propose to you on your birthday now you’ve ruined it and I’m not going to propose at all, you don’t even know what I was going to do’
Well it’s my birthday in 2 weeks and I’m so upset because I wasn’t expecting it at all and would of been so happy 🙁 he said he was going to go get a ring on payday and he’d been to get our son measured for a suit I’m not quite sure why (he has always wanted to buy him a suit for some reason though even without proposing!) now I don’t know what I should do? I’ve told him how mean it is to even tell me he should of just not said. Everything always seems to go wrong for me recently!
Post # 3
Sorry you’re having such a rough time of it..
He kind of sounds like a jerk honestly. Holding a proposal over your head is mean and childish. Like “Do what I say and don’t make me angry or I won’t propose to you!” stuff. Or “See, if you had just not made me angry I’d have proposed”..it just sounds like he’s using it as a tool to control and manipulate you and your feelings IMO.
The kind of guy you want to marry won’t have his feelings about the relationship change every time you get in a fight.
Post # 4
Are you sure you want to marry this man? He sounds like an jackhole. Most men who pull that ” I was going to propose but YOU did_” are full of sh-. Do you really believe he was going to propose? You have a child. He gets mad packs up ALL his stuff and leaves and then assumes he’s welcome back home?
Post # 5
Here is what I think. I really do hope that I am wrong.
He’s stringing you along. He tells you things to get your hopes up, then gives you an excuse (that is your fault) as to why he didn’t follow through on what he said he was going to do. If he wants to marry you, he’ll propose and marry you. If he doesn’t, he won’t. You need to do some serious soul searching. If you really want to get married, tell him what is important to you (don’t give him a date though) and give yourself and him what you think is a reasonable amount of time to follow through. Be ready to move on with your life without him if he doesn’t make a move within your timeframe. Don’t get pregnant again before this happens – if it happens. If you are willing to be with him, regardless of whether you’re married or not, give up on the getting married talk and go on with life without expecting to get married. It could still eventually happen though. You have to take action, (or inaction) for yourself. Don’t sit around waiting for him to decide your future.