Not Going to the Wedding – How Much to Spend on Gift?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Not Attending the Wedding - Send a Gift?
    Just a Card : (0 votes)
    $30-$50 : (2 votes)
    14 %
    $50-$75 : (4 votes)
    29 %
    $75-$100 : (8 votes)
    57 %
  • Post # 3
    320 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    For me if I’m not that close to the person I usually spend $50

    Post # 4
    1720 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I’d send a lovely card with $50.

    Post # 5
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Ok for the record there is no RIGHT or WRONG amount here.

    The rule of thumb is… how close you are to the person getting married, and what you are comfortable with / can afford.

    Truly only you guys can decide what an amount would be that fits within those parameters for you both.

    — — —


    Personally, I don’t go higher or lower when I am not attending from what I’d give otherwise.

    Because as I say I am “measuring” based on different criteria.

    With it being a Destination Wedding, you can either opt for Cash (which a lot of people do nowadays)… OR you can choose to send a Boxed Gift (from the Registry or not) beforehand to the Bride / Couple.  If you are unsure of where to send the Gift (and when) it is truly appropriate to pick up the phone and make a call (or check their Wedding Website to see if there is any info there)

    “Hi Sue, we got the lovely Invite to your Wedding.  Unfortunately Richard & I won’t be able to make it… but we’d like to send a gift… could you please tell us what is the best way to do that… address where you can have it delivered or picked up etc that is most convenient / secure”


    Post # 6
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @emeraldcity13:  As you are not close, something off the registry that is give or take $50 sounds kind to me.

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