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Not happy with invites - Have you had to accept something you didn't love?

posted 2 years ago in Paper
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    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    So we are having our invitations printed finally, after a long and detailed designing process. I am wedding planning out of state with lots of help from my awesome mom. She sent me a sample of the final product, and... I don't really love it. I did approve a PDF file of the proof but printed its just not really what I wanted. Also, a few things have been tweaked by my mom and the printer that she didn't talk to me about. They were really small things, but I am just sort of depressed because after so much work and time and thought and money, they really don't make me happy. They are kind of girly and frilly and not as elegant as I had in mind. It's especially depressing because they are custom made but I think I could honestly find invitations out there that I like better. There's really no changing them now, and my mom seems pretty over this whole process and is ready to just assemble and mail them and have it over with, so if I suggested changing anything, I'm pretty sure she would get mad.

    Sigh. When I'm home in four days, I really WANT to like them and be happy they are complete and send them out with a smile on my face. How can I stop being negative about this??

     
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    di5308    January 1, 2000  

    If you're having them done professionally, then I'd say you should be happy with the final product. Can you talk to the printer about your concerns and see if she can fix them?

    I went for budget friendly with my invites and ended up with invites I didn't really like, but they were nice enough and got the job done. But if I were paying a professional to print them, then I'd want to be really happy with the final product.

     
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    MightySapphire      

    It sounds like your mom paid the printer and that you ok'd your mom communicating with the printer to make changes, so from the vendor's point of view, I don't see them carrying any blame or obligation to change the design.

    I think that maybe you should just let yourself be disappointed, assemble the invites and send them out.  I remember feeling VERY disappointed in my invites, but I found one the other day, and I realize that I love every detail!  I just needed to step back (for 8 months) to truly appreciate them!

     
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    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    We had our invitations designed by a freelance graphic designer recommended to us by a professional printing shop (think brochures and advertising materials, not really invitations). So we are going "budget" by using a nontraditional way to get custom-made invitations.

    MightySapphire, the vendors (both designer and printer) don't carry any obligation to change it, I agree. I don't want to ask them to either because it is has all been finalized. I hope I feel the way you do in 8 months! Maybe I just have been expecting too much? I'm sure our guests will think they are fine...

     
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    scissors    June 19, 2010   Atlanta, Ga

    Aww, I'm sorry. :( I had a "meh" flub with our save the dates, so I sort of understand. (Even though the invites are of course a ginormously bigger deal).

    I have been getting my knickers in a wad lately over tiny little details being wrong. Not like hulk-smash angry, but just whiny. I just hope it's a normal wedding-stress thing.

    I don't know how to tell you to make more smiles other than I feel ya'.

     
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    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    skiz, thanks for the reassurance. I do think as the wedding draws closer (88 days, holy crap!) I am putting more and more emphasis on small things because I'm like, wow, this is real, and I just feel like I get one chance at this and I want to be sure that every choice I made was the right one. Why do weddings have be such a big deal?!

     
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    Jacqi    February 28, 2009  

    There are a few little things about my invitations that are bothering me, but I'm getting over it because once I send them, they'll be out of my hands and I don't have to look at them :) Plus, no one who is getting the invitation will know what you really wanted, and they probably wouldn't notice the difference anyway.

     
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    Rocktsrgn    May 22, 2010   living in Tucson, wedding in Atlanta

    Aww.  I totally feel you.  I decided at almost the last minute that I didn't like our invitations (too formal, wrong color, wrong printing), and found some that I loved loved loved.  Buuuuut, the money had already been spent on the others, so I ended up going with the originals even thought they're not perfect.  I even designed the originals, and wasn't thrilled.  Way to go, me.  But, the originals are pretty, they're fine, there is nothing wrong with them.  That was my mantra for a few days, then I realized that the only importance they had was what I had given them.  So I de-emphasized them in my mind, and, as cheesy as it sounds, it worked for me.  :)

     
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    sewing    July 2010   SF Bay Area / Oahu

    i didn't really like my invites either.. but after stuffing them away for a while and coming back to them, they don't bug me as much. plus i promised myself i'd make up for it with the next project, which has helped me refocus tremendously.

    i think after putting so much time and effort and thought into something, you want to be blowed away by the results..so anything even slightly less than perfection feels like a big deal, even if it really isn't.

     
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    Miss Pinot Grigio    March 21, 2009   Indianapolis, IN

    I can see why you would be bummed about this situation. Maybe after they're printed, you could add a detail or two to spruce them up?

    Maybe add them to a solid colored card backer or pocketfold, like this:

    http://bella-kai.com/blog/uploaded_images/parisienne-770253.jpg

    Or maybe a pretty ribbon "belly band" around the entire invitation suite. That always looks really elegant.

     
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    MissCremeBrulee    05/30/2010   Chicago, IL

    I'm sorry that you're not feeling happy about the invitations!  I am DIY-ing them and there are definitely some invitations that are slightly crooked and such that I HATE.

    At the end of the day, while invitations are something you do WANT to love, the most important thing is that you and your FI are getting married!  The invitations are just a piece of the wedding, and while it's hard to send out things you don't love, I think that thinking about the big picture will help you. 

    I know for me, the crooked ones are getting sent to boys that barely look at the invitaitons (hah!) and at the end of the day, as long as I have food, a DJ, an officiant, liquor and my groom, I'm getting married.  If people don't want to come because of a crooked invite, then I don't want to host them anyways!

    That being said, if your big picture is seriously marred because of the invitations, then definitely try to modify them.  For me, my big picture doesn't change a whole lot with the crooked invites.

     
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    bellenga    July 31, 2010   Georgia

    I think you're totally normal.

    Def do have a talk w/your mom Daniellemybelle. I'm sorry you're disappointed w/them, but do keep in mind, we're rather picky here at WB and what we see as faux pas' might not be even picked up by any guest.  (guess it's our crazy attention to details around here :) )

    I think it's the same with everybody..one day we love one dress, next day it's another, one day it's this std, another one the next. 

    Open up dialogue w/mom though as a first step.  Maybe she can negotiate something with this graphic designer?  Just a thought.  Hugs!   

     
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    bridegrl    October 9, 2010   Monterey County, California

    aww..that sucks..I'm a perfectionist so I know what you're gong through...hang in there. the Bees are right, you may find you like them after all...

    btw...I'm learning to love my venue. Its not the grand wine estate that I envisioned at all (its a hall w/ outdoor patio), but with a little work & creativity its turning out to be ok...

     
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    vintage2010    April 10, 2010  

    I'm sorry you're feeling this way.  Your guests won't know the changes big or small so don't worry about them.  Know that you aren't alone in the disappointed area.  I'm concerned with my flowers.  I shouldn't be but my aunt's shop is doing them and they are amazing designers. I have sent them inspiration photos and they are so excited. I just know that what they design will be beautiful but I'm worried that I might be disappointed because my expectations of them and their work is so high!

     
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    GirlWithARing    September 5, 2010   Living in NYC, marrying in Philadelphia

    I'm sure every bride is unhappy with some aspect of her wedding - a "perfect" wedding doesn't exist in real life! I think it's all about your attitude - remembering what's important and not stressing too much about the details. 

     

     
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    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    Thanks for the reassurance everyone! I really am trying to focus on the big picture and not let the small things drive me crazy. 

     
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    daniellemybelle    June 19, 2010   Baltimore, MD

    Update: I just saw them completely assembled and I eat my words! I love them. Maybe they aren't exactly what I had in mind, but I think they really are great. I'll post pics soon :)

     
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    iceprincess717    August 15, 2011   Texas

    I am really sorry that your invites didn't come out as good as you wanted them to, and I know that it is too late to change them now, but if I have more time, I would definitely say to not settle. But the only advice I can give you is the make the most of it, and just know that the most important thing is the exchange of vows on your special day. When you don't like the outcome of one thing, focus on other things to make just the way you want it, so that it might possibly take your mind off of the things you are reacting negatively toward. It could be a lot worse, just think of it that way.

     
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    MrsJKH2be    October 2010  

    I hate the colors of my linenes under my centerpeices (not the tableclothes, but a 36in swuare cloth in the middle).  They didn't have the exact colors I wanted and the ones I did want, were overpriced, so I had to stick w/ similiar colors that were in my budget.  I probably won't end up using them and it will be $90 down the drain.

     

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