Post # 1
Prior to getting offically engaged, I had always planned to have a close family member (I am an only child) be my Maid/Matron of Honor, and she had planned for me to be hers in the future. While I love her to death, she is very flaky and she lives about 2 hours away from where I live, and where the wedding will be. I do not feel like I can honestly rely upon her to help with the planning.
To further add to the issue, my best friend, who does live in my city and is very reliable, seems to be up to the task of helping with the planning.
However, if I ask my best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, it will hurt my family member’s feelings. If I rely on my friend to do all the Maid/Matron of Honor “duties” but give the honor of the title to my family member, then I will feel like I am betraying my best friend.
My solution is to not have any maid of honor. The place where the ceremony is at will allow all bridesmaids and groomsmen to stand equally in a line. My future husband might also have dodged a bullet with this plan as he does not have a brother or just one best friend, but five.
Has anyone else ever done this or does anyone else have a solution?
Post # 3
I dont think there’s any thing wrong with this. Why should we feel we have to choose? I love each one of my favourite ladies equally, and could never choose between them. Tbh I think Maid/Matron of Honor is an old fashioned tradition…
Post # 4
@maenadinchicago: My husband and I decided to just have us at the ulter, its very personal just you and him having the experince together.Although we both wanted our bestfriends in the wedding we thought it was best(and cheaper)for us not to. The decison is up to you and your soon to be husband dont let your family control your day. Have fun with it
Post # 5
I’m just going to have 3 bridesmaids, 2 sisters and my bff and divide some Maid/Matron of Honor duties between them by their strengths/interests but mostly planning everything myself and bouncing ideas off all of them. There are time/flakieness/health/distance issues all around so I think it’s best. I don’t want a shower or a fancy bachelorette or anything so basically just need them for support and feedback on things which they’re already doing even though I’m not officially planning yet.
ETA: FYI this is self-described flakieness, their words, not mine, lol
Post # 6
I have 5 best friends and 2 sisters and choosing between them for Maid/Matron of Honor would be a nightmare. I think I’m going to steal your idea and not choose one. Maybe divide the “MOH duties” between all of them. Thanks for the idea =]
Post # 7
We’re not doing best man or maid(en) of honor. We didn’t want to bestow that responsability on one person nor did we want to single anyone out. My ladies are all BMs and FI’s guys are all Groomsmen. We’ll arrange everyone according to height. No big deal at all.
Post # 8
I have 3 bridesmaids, all friends, as I don’t have any sisters. I’m not choosing a Maid/Matron of Honor, either. Really, I’m not sure what a MOH’s specific duties are anyhow. And none of them live in the same city as I do, though one of them lives in the city we’re getting married in. She has been and will continue to be the most helpful, I’m sure, in great part because she lives there. One other lives on the opposite coast from me and the other lives in Germany; none of us are even in the same city.
Post # 9
Thanks for the help guys. I just wanted to make sure that I was not going to be so untraditional to where I couldn’t point out to dissenters that this is not completely abnormal.