Post # 1
FI and I have pretty much decided not to have a bridal party. It was my idea because I just don’t want to choose between or rank my friends, and we are both in our 30s and don’t want 16 people standing up there with us. Also, it will be a very shorty ceremony so the bridal party thing kind of seems silly.
Anyway, I’m wondering if it would be acceptable to still invite some of my friends to get ready with me? The thing is, when I think of who I’d want to come, they are the 7 or so people I would make bridesmaids if we went that route.
My concern is that other people will find out about it and get their feelings hurt, so it will seem like I’m being exclusive anyway, even though I didn’t have a bridal party. (It’s a destination wedding, so people’s absence will be more apparent to my other friends when they’re not at the beach/pool that day).
I remember a friend complaining in the past about a close friend’s wedding she went to, with no bridal party, but they planned exclusive events so it was almost like they had one anyway and she felt left out.
Post # 3
My cousin did this exact same thing and she invited me and her best friend to get ready with her, get our hair/ nails done with her and all that. I was not at all offended and was happy to be able to spend time with her on her big day.
That being said I have a friend who was in a simlar situation, and the bride was demanding they take on all the responsibilities of a bridal party (planning showers/ bachelorettes, telling them what to wear, how to do their hair ect) and she was very frustrated because she saw it as having all the responsibility and cost of being in the bridal party without the appreciation of actually being a BM.
I think as long as you’re tactful about it, it’s a nice gesture and your friends will appreciate it.
Post # 4
I did this too! Didn’t have a bridal party at all, but we set a room aside as the “get ready” room – we had fruit and cheese tray and i brought a few bottles of bubbly and invited all my girls to get ready with me. They just went several minutes ahead of me and sat in the seats when it was time to begin the ceremony.
Post # 5
This is a GREAT post because I am in the same boat. We have 18 people, including us, attending our DW and we decided from the jump there wouldnt be a bridal party (dont want the hassle or stress). But the getting ready part is difficult because we have NO clue as to what to do or who to invite into the suite with us (different floor of the conjoined penthouse) so I am definitely following this post to see the recommendations!
Post # 6
@ohbeehave: I am only having my sister and his brother in our bridal party. I am going to ask some of my friends/family to hang out with me while we get ready before pictures.
Post # 7
@ohbeehave: We also had a DW and no bridal party, but there were only 4 guests total. I got ready a little by myself and then invited the other two girls up and we had a blast! BUt, I didn’t require them to do anything. They had fun ordering room service, swooning over my dress, bringing me more drinks, and chatting with the photog. I think it’ll be fine. If you have a suite you could also open up part of the suite to whomever would like to visit before the ceremony while you stay hidden (if you want) in the bedroom getting ready…
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Who’s permission do you need? 😀 Do what the heck you want! And have champagne, too! It’s your life, it’s your wedding, it’s your day!
ETA: I just realized this is sort of missing the point of your question. You don’t want anywone to feel left out. I think as long as you’re not actually doing that whole “non-bridal party- but actually a bridal party clique” you should be fine.
I’m not having a bridal party, but I will definitely have some of my friends with me while I get ready. I will need people to pour the bubbles, after all! (My god, I sound like I’m already drunk, ha ha). I think I’ll just say that anyone’s welcome. Most people will have families or whatever going on, but the more the merrier!
Post # 9
I think this is a great idea, but I would suggest you just be careful of who you invite (so no one feels left out or gets their feelings hurt), and make sure those you invite know they don’t have to come if they would rather not.
Post # 10
I’m pretty much doing the same thing! I’m in the same situation where I can’t pick and choose from my friends, and I don’t want 12 people up there.
My sister will be my MOH and my FI’s sister will be his “best woman.” I’m going to invite my closest friends to get ready with me, though they may not all be able to because some might not arrive early enough, which I’m totally fine with. I’m going to extend the invitation to everyone I would enjoy having there, but with no pressure to absolutely be there or to do anything beyond get ready together and have some nice moments before the ceremony.
I doubt anyone will be offended unless you’re literally only excluding 2-3 people who are good friends with the people who were invited.
Post # 12
I actually really love this idea! Unless you know there is someone who would be excluded that will definitely have hurt feelings, I think you should be fine.
I also found a really great idea online regarding “honored” guests in a wedding. If you don’t want your bridal party to get too huge (or if you don’t want one at all), you can ask certain guests to perhaps dress in a main theme color because they mean so much to you, and you want them to be as much a part of your special day as they can.
Post # 13
I think it’s a great idea.
Post # 14
I did this exact same thing and had 3 of my closest friends celebrating with me all day. It was awesome, and I think everyone understands not wanting to choose amongst your friends.
Post # 15
I didn’t have a bridal party (only 20 people at the wedding total) but anyone who wanted to get ready with me could. It worked out just fine that way. People were in and out so there weren’t too many all at once.
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church
Definitely! We had a wedding party, but there were a lot more people in the room getting ready with us than were in the wedding party! A lot of our friends came to our house before we went to the church and had brunch with us, so many of them were wandering in and out of the rooms where we were getting ready. It was a lot of fun and it’s awesome to see everyone in the pictures!