(Closed) Not having FSIL in the bridal party

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3624 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I have 3 sister in-laws and none of them are in the bridal party and I really don’t think any of them expected to be!

Post # 4
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’ve had maybe 3 or 4 conversations with FSIL. (We live far apart). There was no way I was putting her in the bridal party, but I will probably have her do a reading.

Post # 5
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Who are you having in your bridal party? Just wondering why you wouldn’t want to include her?

My FI doesn’t have any sisters, just one brother who will be the best man, My MOH is going to be my sister in law (brother’s wife)

Post # 6
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m not. She and her husband are having a lot of financial problems right now and I didn’t want to burden her with it. I will have her do a reading though. 

Post # 7
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@Mrs.LetsGoPens:  That is going to depend a lot on your in laws and what they expect.  My in laws felt it was tradition in their family, but in my family it is not so I didnt have them.  They were really really upset about it. The part that helped was I wasnt having my step-sister (who oddly enough was perfectly OK with this). 

So in stead I am having them walk down the aisle in matching dresses to each other in the accent color carrying the unity candles so they have a more prominent role. They seem happy about this.

Its a nice gesture, but even if I had to do it again and go through the drama again, I am happy with my decision. I did not want a 7 person bridal party and I wanted the people that have really supported me.

Also in return my FH didnt have my 2 brothers either…

Post # 8
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I have two SILs, and just had one MOH who was a friend. If I did have more bridesmaids, though, my SILs still wouldn’t have been bridesmaids. I don’t think that would have been an issue at all and I don’t think they would have expected to be bridesmaid, nor would my brother have expected to be a groomsman.

My husband was also not a groomsman in either of his sister’s weddings. In fact, neither sister was the MOH in the other one’s wedding, either.

Post # 9
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I also have will have 3 SILs and none of them will be in my bridal party. They are all older than me and I don’t see them much. One of them we are having her twin daughters as our flower girls, the others husband is marrying us, and the last FI is having her husband (his brother) as one of his groomsmen.

I felt kind of bad at first, but I already have 5 girls adding them would bring me up to 8 and I really didn’t want to have that many.

I think everyone understood and *hopefully* no one’s feelings were hurt.

Post # 10
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

FI’s brother has a long-term girlfriend…but they are not engaged/married and I can’t guarantee they would even still be together by September. They fight alot. I’ve also known her for barely over a year.

I don’t think she’s offended whatsoever and has still been involved in the planning process and enjoying herself. If they were engaged I would probably put her in.

Post # 11
Member
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Uh…FI was told by FSIL that she was in the wedding. I was like “Uh…k.” I mean I don’t have boatloads of friends knocking down my door to be BMs, but still.

This was also when I thought the future in-laws were going to be contributing significantly to the wedding…which they are not.

Post # 12
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m not…  But then, he has four siblings.  He wanted my brother and SIL in the bridal party, and while he initially wanted all of his siblings in the wedding, he quickly remembered hoe unreliable his older sister and younger brother are.  I would have loved to have his younger sister in the wedding party, but I couldn’t do that without offending the older sister.  His older brother (FI is the oldest of five) is one of his best friends, so he’s a groomsman.  We are trying to find roles they can fill (since they ARE indeed coming.)  We expect to have 60-80 guests, so 8 attendants (and me only choosing one) was a little excessive.  So glad he decided against having all of them.

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have one amazing FSIL we get along great and I’m closer to her than my actual sister but I am not including her. she is married with two young kids and doesnt need the hassle of being bridesmaid. I’m not including my own sister who is married too. My BMs are all unmarried. I’ve just always felt that you shouldnt be a BM after being a bride [although I know many people disagree]

Post # 15
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I’m not.  I like her fine, but we haven’t spent much time together, she’s in her mid-30s, and I can’t imagine she’d be excited to be in the wedding.  Her two daughters are going to be flower girls, however, and I let her pick their dresses.

Post # 16
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I have two FSILs and honestly, it didn’t even enter into my brain to ask them.  I like them both, but I’m only having a MOH who is one of my three own sisters.

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