Post # 1
I feel horrible saying it because I have a beautiful ring that FI paid good money for and while I love him and love having a ring from him, I have never loved the ring very much. Part of it is that it is very different from what I had always envisioned for myself. I had told him once that I wanted a simple solitaire with some kind of embellishment on the ring, maybe an eternity band, but even just a design in the metal itself. Well, FI, bless his heart, took that to mean two additional stones. I know three-stone rings have wonderful symbolism and I like that part about it, but I’m still very so-so about the ring itself. We’ve been engaged for almost a year and I have never said this to him and I realize it is a pride issue on his part, but I’m just wondering if there is anyone else who ever felt this way and if you eventually got over it.
And since I’m sure you’re wondering, here is the ring itself:
Post # 3
Wow! I didn’t have that problem but your ring is gorgeous! You could dress it up with an interesting band.
Post # 4
Ooo! I love your ring, but I totally understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes I feel like my ring is not exactly what I wanted, but I just remind myself what it symbolizes.
You can always get it reset later on in life (maybe 2 or 5 year anniversary?) I might do something like this 😀
Post # 5
I’m sorry, I don’t have that difficulty. But I must say, your ring is gorgeous! And I also think it is really selfless of you to have not told your FI your feelings about the ring because you think that it could hurt him and you appreciate the symbolism and sentiment behind the ring.
I agree that you should definitely find a wedding band that you love. And although I’m sure your feelings regarding your e-ring will begin to fade, you do deserve to be happy. Depending on the feelings of your FI, maybe it would be okay to talk to him about altering your setting to something you would love.
Post # 6
Thanks, ladies. I think you’re right that I probably will feel better about it when it’s paired with a wedding band that I get to choose. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to upgrade. I guess as much as I don’t love the design, I’d feel weird about wearing a ring that wasn’t the one he proposed to me with… I hope I just get over it! Has anyone else ever upgraded? If so, how do you feel about the ring’s sentiments?
Post # 7
@Liss: I was not in love with my original e-ring. I wore it for about 6 months before I told FI that I’d like to look into getting it reset. We tried to compromise and look at wraps/ring guards (I had a solitaire and I wanted something with a little more detail) and when I couldn’t find one I liked we just decided to change the setting all together. At first he was a little upset that I didn’t like it, but in the long run he’d rather me be happy with what I’ll be wearing for the rest of my life even if he didn’t pick it on his own. Bring it up casually if you can, you might be surprised by his reaction.
Post # 8
I feel ya… I think your ring is beautiful but to me a 3 stone ring seemed more like an anniversary thing than an engagement thing, and I didn’t want one. So I understand how you can think its pretty but still not love it. Do you think your FI might be open to modifying the setting? It seems like it’d be easy enough to just have the center stone reset in a plain etched band and use the two side stones for beautiful earrings– no?
Post # 9
@HoneyBear: agreed, it is really sweet that OP held back saying anything to make sure her FI is happy. 🙂
As for your ring, it’s gorgeous. I’l agree wtih PPs on an upgrade/change in a few years or picking a band that is more to your liking. Or get it reset.
Post # 10
Can you just modify your current ring? Say, turn it into a solitare by remove the two side stones and make earrings or seomthing out of them? That way you keep *most* of the ring he proposed with as your e-ring but it has a different look.
Edit: AHH! i should read responses first…. yeah, what corgitales said. =)
Post # 11
I third the solitaire/earrings idea…
Post # 12
so many good ideas here! I also agree that the wedding band you choose will really change how you think of the e-ring, so try that first and see.
Post # 13
ditto on the solitare and earrings idea. Tell him you can wear the earrings on the wedding day too!
My friend had a promise ring and she turned it into a bezel necklace for the wedding after he proposed with the actual engagement ring.
I think as long as you gently let him know, he will understand and wnat you to be happy with what you have.
Post # 14
Or, or; make a solitaire then you have two family diamonds to pass down 🙂
Post # 15
I know how you feel. My ring is not exactly what I would have chosen if I’d chosen it, and it’s not what I envisioned for myself either. However, I never sat around thinking about diamond rings too much before getting engaged so I didn’t expect any certain ring either. The reasons I wasn’t crazy about the ring in the first place actually turned out to be the exact reason why I love it so much now- I would never want to have to pick my own ring. No offense to those who have, but it seems completely unromantic to me. I love my ring because he chose it & completely surprised me with the proposal all on his own. Plus, I chose a band more my style & I LOVE LOVE the way they look together 🙂 If you’d like to change it & he’s fine with it, the solitare/earrings idea sounds great to me!
I think your ring is gorgeous by the way!
Post # 16
I was thinking the exact same thing that the PPs mentioned about turning the side stones into earrings. Perhaps you could wear the diamond earrings on your wedding day. I think modifying the ring is fantastic