- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
FI’s mom, dad and step parents have children from other relationships. Fi is the oldest on both sides. He has 6 brothers and sisters (halves and steps but all equally siblings in our eyes).
FI used to be very close with both sides until his Dad moved away a couple of years ago. Everything changed after they moved. They would place unrealistic expectations on us about coming to see them. FI and I were both college students. We had imited free time, limited money and both had old cars. With that said we went to visit them 7 times over the past 5 years. They visited us twice (for FIs college graduation and FI’s surgery).
One heart wrenching issue for FI is that this his Dad’s family travels VERY close to where we live and does not call to meet up or see him. This has happened numerous times over the years. Some of the reasons they visit near us is to get their haircut by a special stylist, visit an accountant, go shopping…. They live in a rural area while we live in an urban area.
Last year we went to visit them we were not allowed in their house. We called about 4 days before going. They said OK and that they were excited. We called them when we left that morning (its a 5 hour drive). As we pulled into the driveway FI’s dad calls to tell us it is not a good time to visit. FI continues to pull into the driveway knocks on the door. It was then we were told WE WERE NOT ALLOWED IN THEIR HOUSE. FI was really devatsated. He hadn’t seen them for a year then. Later his step mom called – cursing at him for not calling her on Mother’s day or going to his little brothers birthday party (all which was months prior to us coming to see them and never brought up before). FI is the mushiest, sweetest guy and would never intentionally hurt someone. It really crushed him.
While we don’t blame FI’s younger siblings (youngest under 10) We both can not see his Dad’s family being in the bridal party (unreliable, unable to participate with out drama). His oldest sibling has hinted to me about it by texting “when are you going shopping for bridesmaid dresses ” –
I dont know if we should flat out just tell them or skirt around the issue until they ask.
(FI’s only sibling in our bridal party is his sister on his mom’s side. She is his best man.)