Post # 1
Hi…so as my RSVP’a start rolling in, one has already given me a headache. We invited his cousin whom is very close to his very small family and the invite didn’t state ‘and guest’ or ‘and family’. The response come’s back with 3 guests…the invited cousin, her not invited son and his gf! Our wedding is small for a few reasons and when I asked him if he wanted to invite the self-invited cousin, he said no. I can’t say anything without causing waves with his family 7 wks before my wedding but now I have 2 extra people that I did not allot for. What you lovely ladies do?
Post # 2
Susied71: I’d tell the invited cousin that as much as it pains you, you cannot accomodate the two additional guests. This is her mistake, not yours.
Post # 3
Susied71: Phone the cousin “There must have been a misunderstanding. We are unable to accomodate any extra guests. If that means that you will be unable to attend, we understand and will miss you at the wedding.”
Post # 5
Susied71: Are other cousins’ children invited? If not, you – no, your Fiance – should explain to her that it’s a small wedding, and if you invite her son, then then you need to invite all cousins’ children, and the size of the wedding will get out of control.
Why can’t your fiance make waves? The person who has been rude is the cousin. Sometimes rudeness needs to be confronted.
I’ll emphasise again that this is FI’s side of the family so he should deal with it.
Post # 6
He should make the call to her, since it’s his side. If he doesn’t, then you’ll have to. You have 7 weeks left, which should give you plenty of time. If not, and other relatives see the son and his girlfriend there, and they couldn’t bring their families, there will be bad feelings.
Thankfully, most guests know that the name of the invited guests are those written on the invitation. We ran into the issue with my daughters’ weddings. The first one was strictly 21+. We are no longer on speaking terms with my brother in law, because we didn’t make exceptions for his children. (And I’ve never even met his son – now 11). And for my 2nd daughter, her cousin (who had requested a childfree wedding, of course), wanted to bring her toddler, whom she described in her e-mail as “the little monster.” We said no, due to the small venue and potential of 30 children, who would have to be added. She sent a gift to daughter #1 – daughter #2 didn’t even get so much as a congratulatory e-mail.
Post # 7
aussiemum1248: The son is an adult who just became a Dad himself. My fiancée let’s everything go. He wasn’t expecting the response to come back that way so his solution is that if his brother , who I was already alloting 7 guests, he has 2 little ones and his fiancée has 3 teenagers, don’t all come, then there are the two seats we need. But that’s not the point. I don’t want to say anything to them as if it all works out then there will be enough seating. I’d hate to make a huge stink and then that table be sitting there with 2 empty seats…I’d never hear the end of it.
Post # 8
I would politely inform that the invite was only for that 1 person. It’s simple and they should follow the invitation card.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
Do exactly what Julies said. There’s no need for you to have random people you don’t want at your wedding b/c your husband is a pushover.