Not invited to their Destination Wedding, immigration isses….. do I invite?

posted 3 years ago in Dress
  • poll: Do I invite the Cousins who did not invite me to theirs
    Invite them. Be the better person : (5 votes)
    36 %
    Forget them, they didn't invite me : (7 votes)
    50 %
    Talk to them about my hurt feelings and then invite them : (1 votes)
    7 %
    Tell them their invitation must have gotten lost and ended up with the one they sent me... : (1 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    76 posts
    Worker bee

    There is no obligation to invite those you do not wish to invite. You can tell them you are keeping it simple or tell them nothing at all.  And I hope I’m not being rude, but how do you get married without a license/social security card etc?

    Post # 4
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Give them just as much of an explanation as they gave you: none. Think about who you want to share your special day with and invite those people. Anyone coming out of the woodwork looking for an invite when they haven’t talked to you in years is probably not on that list. People  know that you have to draw the line somewhere; you can’t invite everyone.

    Post # 5
    463 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    If not for the destination wedding incident, would you have invited them?  If yes, I would say let it go and invite them.  If you still would not have invited them, then I would say take a pass, maybe.


    It’s good etiquette to invite all members of a “class” – all cousins, all grandparents, etc. for each side (maybe each side can be different, but certainly for one side).  So if you’re inviting some cousins, better to just invite all.

    However again…

    I’m in a similar boat, but less emotionally involved.  I have 70 cousins (-ish), and I wanted a small wedding.  But my family is contributing and there are similar expectations on my family as far as attendance.  So what I did is I set a number, and I let my parents be the bad guy.  Aside from my “must-haves” of friends and certain family and of course FI’s side (nearly half), my parents pick what family members get invites or not, and they get the heat for it.

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