Post # 1
I am considering not inviting one of FI’s extended family members to my wedding. The person does not have any persons of their immediate family I am inviting anyway.
Is there a good way to do this? I was going to not send a STD but I worry how other family members will react if they find out I’m deciding to exclude this person from the guest list. I would like to say "My guest list is not up for discussion" but I don’t want to look like a horrible person. Any advice? Anyone have experience cutting someone from their guest list?
Post # 3
Hmmmm. I would absolutely love to not invite my Future Sister-In-Law. I am going to have to settle for hoping she doesn’t come.
Of course you don’t have to invite all the extended family. Its easier if you can say something that makes it sound like its not personal: "We decided to invite only extended family that comes to the family reunion, because we haven’t even seen the rest of y’all in ten years." Or "We didn’t invite cousins, except Connie and Nelson, whom we ski with every year. The rest of the cousins we don’t actually socialize with."
It’s harder to say: "We didn’t invite Uncle Fred because nobody likes him anyway." Or: "We didn’t invite Aunt Arva because she was so snotty to me last Christmas." It’s also harder to say that you’re not going to invite someone and you’re not going to discuss your reasons.
Can you come up with a plausible reasons for not inviting this person, in case it comes up, that doesn’t make you sound totally bitchy?
Post # 4
Does your Fiance want them invited? Since it’s the wedding of both of you I would hope he’s in the discussion. If he doesn’t want that person there either, and you have a valid reason (like you haven’t talked to them in 10 years), then don’t invite them. I would LOVE not to invite my cousin and his wife and their brood (because she is a total b!tch and has turned my cousin against everyone, including his parents) but I’m being the bigger person and inviting them, hoping they don’t come, and if they do, seating them beind a pole not with the rest of the family! 🙂 My cousin didn’t stand up for his own brother at his wedding, so I totally don’t feel bad about the sitting-behind-the-pole thing.
Post # 5
Could you say you didn’t have their address and thus could not send them an invitation? Or send an invite to an old or incorrect address where you will get it returned to sender? The last is probably too sneaky if you want to be honest.
Is your Fiance okay with not inviting this person? Will this person be offended if they do not receive an invite when he/she finds out at the next family gathering? Think there is a high chance he/she will not attend anyway if invited?
We invited quite a bit of family that won’t be able to attend for physical or travel reasons, but feel they will at least appreciate the invite. It’s your and your FI’s wedding. Do what makes you happy (and at least satisfies the fam to avoid unnecessary stress later). But that’s just MHO.