- 4 years ago
I have been reading these threads for ages but only decided to start posting and commenting today…
Forgive me if theres a post like this already, if so please link me to it 🙂 ….its a little long, and a little whingy… sorry.
I used to be friends with this girl, we were best friends and would see eachother almost every day for a few years… We had a few falling outs and there was a period where we didnt speak, we patched things up but were never super close again.
I would invite her to go out and she would always have an excuse or cancel last minute or if she did come (which was very rare) she would complain and leave really quickly.
She never made any effort with me, but despite this I continued to make an effort and continued to include her and invite her to things but it would seem like she would only be interested and talk to me if she wanted to find something out or if she thought I had gossip or news.
When my Fiance and I got engaged (in july)we called some people we wanted to personally tell before we put anything on facebook etc, I tried to call her but she didnt answer however as soon as it was on facebook she called me straight away. I had other people over so didnt answer, eventually I txt her and said I had people over and couldnt txt but she was welcome to pop over and see me if she wanted (she lives around the corner) she said she had a headache… but kept asking about my ring and to send her pictures so I (having had enough of the excuses) said something like “I get engaged and you cant even come over and see me?” she came over… asked about a million questions about how big my ring was and left after 10 minutes… it was obvious that she came over because a) I called her out on her crap and b) she wanted the gossip because once she got it she left.
So after not hearing from her at all really she kept hinting that she thought she was going to be my bridesmaid… im not even sure why she assumed she would be because we dont see each other or speak that much anymore. Anyway after her visit I didnt see her until our engagement party (we told everyone we were having a very small wedding so having a big engagement party) She complained about multiple parts of the invitations (objected to my fiance and I having a wishing well etc) and when she was there she sat at a table all of the night, she knew heaps of people there and her family was there too so she wasnt shy, my fiance and other friends commented that they didnt even know she was there.
I had decided that I would give her another role in the wedding however and thought about the possibility of asking her to do a reading etc… (I had not asked though I was just thinking about it myself, to make her feel more included)I sent a few of my friends a message and asked them one night to keep an eye out for something in particular I was looking for… she wrote back “isnt that what you have bridesmaids for”
The engagement party was in october. I havent seen her since and shes made no effort since then but every now and again she messages me asking about the wedding…. we are having a very small wedding 55 people which is just closest friends and family… and after all that I have decided shes not on the list… im scared she will be really upset when she realises shes not invited, or should I tell her she doesnt make it? im really not sure how to handle it… I dont want to upset her, but we are just not that close anymore and there are others I would prefer to invite… the wedding is in september so almost a year after the engagement and shes made no effort up until now… ugh its really a difficult situation to handle… because of this I have really tried to avoid posting things on fb etc because I dont want people to wrongly assume theyre getting an invite..
Has anyone gone through anything similar or have any advice for me? Thanks