Not inviting a Frienemy to my wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@FutureMrsKyewski:  Dont invite her. Shes not a friend and shes not a friend you want so not inviting her will take care of that.

If she calls you out then dont stress because SHE is the one being rude for doing so, just say “im sorry but we needed to keep the guestlist down to family and close friends”

Thats a real bitch move to say those things to you and not give a BM a date. Be strong- dont invite her.

Post # 4
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@FutureMrsKyewski: Were you considering inviting her in the first place? I wouldn’t necessarily let something like this sway my opinion if I had already decided to invite her, but if it’s been on the fence all along, yeah, just don’t invite her. It doesn’t sound like you’ll miss her at all, so.

Post # 5
1327 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MrsBuesleBee:  +1 to everything you said.

Wost thing that can happen is that she gets mad and never speaks to you again.  And is that really a bad thing?

Post # 6
8680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t invite her.

Post # 7
592 posts
Busy bee

@Kit_Kath:  +1, I think her never talking to you would be a plus. I’d not invite her and wouldn’t think twice about it. Well maybe except to laugh of she tried to start trouble over it. Playing nice to a bully shouldn’t be something you have to deal with for your wedding, you’ll have so many other more important or meaningful things to be concerned with. 

Post # 8
1584 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I most definitely wouldn’t invite her. You shouldn’t invite someone out of obligation, only because you want them there. It sounds to me like this friendship has run its course and I probably wouldn’t care if she got offended.

Post # 9
6194 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

I wouldn’t invite her either… however, I think the conversation you cited really isn’t that bad, and you are blowing it out of proportion. If someone showed me a dress I tried on that I liked, that’s the first thing that would pop into my head, too. 

Post # 10
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

@FutureMrsKyewski:  She isn’t a family member that you will have to deal with regardless of your feelings about them. I don’t think you should have to invite her. This isn’t a girls night get together, its your wedding. Just having mutual friends does not mean an obligatory invitation. Maybe not inviting her will give her the hint and she’ll figure out that while you frequent the same circles, you are not on the same map.

Post # 11
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I invited one of these, well, I sent her a STD so I have to invite her.  I wish I hadn’t.

Post # 12
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Why would you invite someone to your wedding who you don’t want to be there?

Post # 13
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@FutureMrsKyewski:  I have a frienemy kinda like this. Only she became my frienemy when we got engaged before she did. Then she scheduled her wedding for the week right after ours when she did get engaged. I was debating as to whether or not to invite her, but she sent me a save the date and FI felt that it would look petty if we didn’t invite her. So we did. She really pissed me off a few weeks ago, though.. 

Post # 14
24 posts
  • Wedding: December 2013

I wouldn’t invite her if I were you. I don’t think you should invite people out of obligation, only if you actually want them there. 

I don’t think it’s bad that your FI didn’t get a plus one to her wedding though if you’d only been dating for four months. People have to draw the line somewhere. Maybe I’m just a bit sensitive on this though because we only invited plus ones who were married, engaged or living with their SO and now you’ve got me worried that I may have offended people… Embarassed

Post # 15
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@FutureMrsKyewski:  i wouldn’t invite her. if you feel uneasy about it, then simply don’t invite her. trust me, as time goes on, you will find that you needed that one seat for someone you forgot or didn’t expect to “have to” invite (family). not worth it.

i have 2 frienemies that i didn’t invite and i don’t regret it.

Post # 16
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I also think you should not invite her. It’s easier said than done to just “do what you want” but in this situation, ew to her, not invited.

If she brings it up, I’d play the intimate wedding card.

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