Not inviting cousins fiance to wedding

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Invite the fiancé. It’s horribly rude to invite only half of a couple. Regardless of your feelings on the woman, she is the partner of your future family member. So she gets an invite.

Post # 3
Member
290 posts
Helper bee

I think you should invite her. I agree with your family. Whether you like her or not they are getting married and shouldn’t be treated like others who are just dating. I can understand not inviting girlfriends and boyfriends of cousins, but it is rude to let married cousins bring their husbands and wives but not this particular cousins fiance.

Post # 4
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrs83114:  The other couples treated everyone the same- no cousins were invited so it was not necessary to invite their SO’s.

I’m guessing that you invited other social units, but chose to single this couple out and not invite the fiancee. That was rude.

Post # 5
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

FutureMrs83114:  I either would have invited no cousins or included the fiance. I had a situation where I had a girl that I used to be better friends with and who if it weren’t for her husband I would have invited her to the wedding. I absolutely could not have him there though due to something he did to me in the past/his subsequent behaviour so I had to make the decision not to extend an invitation at all. What’s done is done now though – even if you extended an invitation to her as well then they both will still likely be quite pissed off that she was excluded to begin with and family feelings are already hurt. I’m of the view though that everyone in an exclusive relationship gets invited together to a wedding – imagine if someone said to you that ‘oh we would have invited you as well as your FI but we wanted quality over quantity so we can only extend an invitation to him.’  Nope.

Post # 6
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

You might be right, she might be awful, but if she is his fiance, I think you have to let him decide if he wants her to come with him or not.  Sorry…

Post # 8
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrs83114:  I think you need to invite her. At the very least all spouses and fiance(e)s should be invited to a wedding. (I also extend that to any long term partner, but that’s optional so long as you are consistent and use the same rule for all guests).

It doesn’t matter that she’s never acknowledged you. She is your fiance’s cousin’s fiancee so you’re not likely to be close. This is about the cousin, not her: treating him with respect by inviting his partner.

The cousin probably hasn’t addressed him directly because there’s nothing to say. He’s probably thinking, “My fiancee’s not invited, so I’m not attending. That’s that.”

Post # 9
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

This is horrible. Invite the fiancé.

Post # 10
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

FutureMrs83114:  So people who are engaged/living with their SO did not have their partner included on their invitation??

Post # 11
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

You always invite long term partners!  I’d have been pissed too.

Post # 13
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You asked us how to address the issue. EVERYONE says to invite the fiancé. You clearly don’t want to. Why ask? I never understand these threads.

Who are you to judge people’a relationships? You do realize that some couples NEVER officially get married, right?

Post # 15
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Until the cousin says something directly to one of you ignore it. if he doesn’t come or his mother so be it. You two are wrong for Not inviting the fiance or any other cousin’s “plus one” that has a  live in bf/gf or fiance or long term bf/gf not living together. were there any cousin’s living with the parent of their child(ren) that didn’t receive an invite because the couple are not married?

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