Post # 1
PLEASE HELP! I am trying to plan an intimate wedding as well as trying to keep costs down. What do you all think about me only inviting family as far as AUNTS/UNCLES? I could reduce my costs and guest list by 20 people at least if I weren’t to invite cousins. PS- I’m not close with ANY of them, really!
How should I explain this to my mom? I know she will be offended that I don’t want to invite some of her favorite neices & nephews…..
I want to have my response planned, because I just know it’s not going to go over well when I break the news.
I’d love to hear all of your opinions!
Post # 3
This is what I am doing. First of all I am having a very intimate ceremony in Vegas. Then, the following weekend after we get back, we are having our reception. The reception is going to be for parents, grandparents, siblings & their children only. We are paying for this all by ourselves & we are on a tight budget because we are about to start building a house. Some people aren’t happy about it, but this is what we could do with the money that we wanted to spend. So, if you could get away with immediate family only, with no one other than parents, grandparents & any siblings with their children (if they have any), that is what I would do. Just a suggestion……good luck!
Post # 4
I probably wouldn’t invite the aunts/uncles either if you’re going for small—keep the division clean. The parents/grandparents/siblings combo that ing2foru suggested seems clearest for that. There are people who do the aunts/uncles but no cousins deal, but personally I think it gets very messy/political to try to separate the family units (even when the children are grown). You might consider doing a bbq or something separately for the extended family so they have a place to celebrate with you, though.
Post # 5
I have a relatively small family so I am inviting my cousins and aunts/uncles. Know a good bit can’t come possibly, but it’s the thought that counts. I’m FB friends with several of them, so they know about the wedding and have mentioned it to me already..guess I’m roped in! But they’re sweet.
Post # 6
We are having a small wedding too, and our families are large so if we invited cousins it would have added 40+ people!! I just explained that we are having a small intimate wedding. I invited my two cousins on my mom’s side I am close with (only 2 cousins on that side) but none from my dad’s side. My FI didn’t invite any cousins at all. My family was very understanding, and my cousins are all over the country so most wouldn’t be able to come anyway. I would just say that you wanted to keep it intimate and that’s it.
Post # 7
YOu know usually I think it’s fine to go the aunt/uncle route, but leave off all cousins. How small were you thinking for the guest list? Is not inviting the cousins really unheard of in your family?
In my family, cousins are sometimes excluded. But I agree with oakster. It makes for a cleaner break to just have immediate family. Maybe your parents can help you figure out which will go over better with the family.
Post # 8
Oh and my family is going to do a party bbq for us after the wedding so that my aunts/uncles/cousins that are not going to the wedding can celebrate with us. Some of them have never met my FI (not very close with that side of family) so it’s a good time for them to meet as well. You could suggest this as an alternative if you get pushback from your mother.
Post # 9
I think not inviting cousins is a fine idea (esp. if you aren’t close to them) as long as you are consistent. Don’t invite some and not the others. People realize that not everyone can be invivted and that a line must be drawn somewhere. Unless your mom is paying for most of the wedding, she will probably understand.