Post # 1
Ok, so I know when people have a small destination wedding, they often have a hometown reception after to celebrate.
But have you ever heard of a wedding – where most guests have to travel -where only immediate family are invited to the ceremony and guests just to the reception? I obviously can’t say anything to the couple, because I know that is wrong – but I find it unusual to ask people to travel 6+ hours and then not even invite them to the ceremony, which is the whole point. They say they are doing this to make it all simple, but they are still having a big, reception hall, 150+ person reception summer of 2010 with all the trimmings.
Post # 3
Yes, we were going to have a huge reception and then just get married at the court house or something of that sort. But because we are having a ball type reception and some of the family doesn’t want to attend that we are now having a ceremony with a few guests.
So I guess I should have read the whole post and then answered. But I can’t mine so… oh well.
Post # 4
My cousin did this. I thought it was really odd.
Post # 5
I can see that if it’s a courthouse ceremony, but if they’re having a church wedding or some other more formal ceremony, it does seem odd. Maybe she found a chapel she loves but it’s too small? Maybe their ceremony is going to be so short she doesn’t think it’s worth the while for people to come (especially if they’re not religious)?
Post # 6
I have known this to happen where the ceremony venue is really small — such as a very small church or chapel where they just can’t accommodate all their guests.
Still not great, though.
Post # 7
its ouside at a vineyard, so its not a space issue. They just decided they wanted it to be intimate – which I am all for, but then its a bit weird to ask people to travel for the party bit and exclude them from the part that is meaningful. And they put all this info on their website about where the ceremony will be, and that they will have a dinner after – but no one is invited to any of that!
Post # 8
It sounds like people are invited to that, just not everyone.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
A bunch of friends of mine just went to a wedding like this and they found it strange as well…They all said it was hard to connect to the party as a wedding, since they weren’t witness to the ceremony and the emotions behind that….The party will still be fun tho, but I do think it’s a bit strange…
Post # 10
Not quite an answer to your question…
I’m having a hometown wedding, but with quite a lot of friends and family flying in from overseas. We want a more ‘intimate’ ceremony (that and that location can’t hold THAT many people) so we will prioritize immediate family and those who are flying in from overseas to the ceremony, and invite more people to the reception…. I guess for us, because our special day will be on a Monday, we can sort of justify it… that most of the ‘locals’ will have to work anyway, so its okay that they aren’t there for the noon time ceremony.
Post # 11
Sounds like space is not an issue! In which case, the wedding in general sounds like, “hi, we don’t want you at our ceremony, but come to the reception and bring a gift”. I don’t see a logistical reason for this, therefore not cool. ESPECIALLY with 6 hours travel. They are not considerate hosts. I would not go.
Post # 12
We have a wedding to go to this weekend that they’re doing this. We don’t have to travel really far, but I’m sure some do. A little odd, but I guess to each their own.
Post # 13
We’re doing that. We’re not having a huge party for the reception, just a dinner with no dancing, but we’re still inviting over 100 people. I have huge anxiety about being in front of people, plus I get horrible migraines, so we’re doing everything we can to prevent migraines on wedding day, which includes me not standing in front of 100 people as they stare at me. But my fi wanted to celebrate with everyone, so we’re inviting them to the dinner after. I’m ok if they don’t come from far away though, I understand why they wouldn’t and would not be offended at all. We do have a lot of family who are coming, knowing that they aren’t invited to the ceremony and our reasonings for it, and I’m sure they’d rather see us get married but they also just want to be there for us whatever way they can be.
Post # 14
We were invited, but declined … a wedding that only close family members attended the ceremony and they had reception with 100 guests after.
Post # 15
Yup, I went to a wedding last October where no one was invited to the ceremony other than close family. We traveled about 6 hours by car and spent the night even though we were only invited tot he reception which was a back yard catered event. In fact, it was a chilly evening so the bride didn’t keep her dress on once the photos were taken. I don’t really know what their reasoning was but it was still a nice celebration.
This weekend, I will attend a wedding with a similar situation, due to limited space of 40 seats in the chapel, we anticipate most friends will wait outside to throw rice after the ceremony then head over to the reception. This is clearly a space issue and we don’t want to take a seat away from family members but we are again traveling 6 hours and spending 2 overnights to attend.
To each their own I guess.
Post # 16
That is really uncommon, I wonder why they chose to do that. I would be a lil annoyed too. I’ve heard of people doing this at a hometown wedding, but not a destination wedding. Although, and I hope this isn’t mean or insensitive, at least you’re invited to the more fun part of the wedding. Is that wrong? I mean the ceremony always makes me cry and some of them are boring. The reception is usually fun!