Weddingbee boards

I just read another post and am in a similar situaton, from the bride's perspective. My FI and I have agreed to have a small, intimate wedding, with family and friends who we've both met or will be likely to spend time with in the future. (Meaning, no, he hasn't met all my cousins, but chances are he will, and I'm excited about the family reunion aspect of the wedding. Seems like we only all get together for funerals.)

For friends and cousins who are in relationships, they're welcome to bring dates. We've met or heard stories about the SO's and we want this to be a good time for all. We're still talking about having about 20 people, maybe 30 if we get a good turnout from the out of towners. 

The problem? His sister. She wants to bring a date. She doesn't know who yet, and the wedding is in 10 weeks. I am addressinginvitations and FI mentioned I should put "and guest" on hers -- I told him I'd put her date's name, which is how I found out she just doesn't want to come alone. I don't understand this, because it's not like we're having dacing or a big party where she'd need someone to keep her company. She will be with her family and friends. Why bring a stranger into this? Will that person be comfortable?

This makes me really upset because I feel like I have to be reasonable and let her because she's my FSIL and I don't want to burn any bridges.  I feel like I keep making the wedding bigger and bigger ... originally I just wanted something small for just us, but FI wants to share with friends and family, and I'm okay with that, but not strangers. I've been working on writing the wedding ceremony and I feel like parts of it won't apply if "some dude" is in attendance. It's just one person, I know, and one day versus the rest of my life.

How can I develop a positive attitude about this?

If she were a cousin I would no way-but being the sister of the groom I think you should just let her bring a guest...she might not even ending up bringing one, but if you don't give her the option you'll never hear the end of it.

I love your positive attitude already in trying to get a more positive attitude on this! I would also let her bring her date. Even with a small gathering of people, it is not going to be nearly as big a deal as you think it will be. My cousin-in-law brought an unannounced date to our small wedding, and you know what? I was mad about it when I heard about it, but at the wedding itself I didn't even notice! You are going to be so busy and having so much fun that you are not going to even care who she is talking with. And now said cousin is marrying the guy this summer, so you never know how it'll turn out....

I guess my point is that when the day actually comes, your FSIL's date will be the last thing on your mind. Part of getting married is joining a new family, and your fiance has a sister who doesn't like to go to weddings alone. Let her take care of whomever she brings; you don't need to worry about making him feel comfortable beyond being friendly and inviting him in the first place. Trust your FSIL to take care of herself and her new date. So he's not just "some dude," he's part of your new FSIL. Having someone there is going to make her happy, which will increase the happiness quotient of your wedding :).

If it wasn't his sister I would be inclined to say to tell her no, she can't bring anyone, but as his sister I think she get special  priveleges. My sister brough her best friend as her date somewhat unexpectedly, and she ended up getting us our favorite wedding present! Good luck :)