Not Living Together Till Marriage.

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My ex lived with me for a little over a year (moved in for financial reasons – he lost his job) and when we broke up, it was an interesting transition living on my own again. After that, I vowed not to live with anyone else until I’m married. THANKFULLY, my FI feels the same exact way. He lives in his apartment (very very close by) and will not move in until after the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@maloussii:  I would never marry someone without living with them first. Life is always a risk, and no relationship is guaranteed. Going in and knowing that, it doesn’t make financial sense to pay 2 mortgages (or rent at 2 places, depending on your situation) and, at least in our case, we were always sleeping over at each’s place anyway. I test drive a car before I buy it, right? 😛

Post # 7
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@maloussii:  yeah i know it’s hard but you did it before, and you can do it again. trust me, it sucks, but it’s doable.

Post # 8
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

We don’t live together! Or…not officially. SO has his own place, but he stays at my house most nights. I like that we have the experience of living together (let’s be honest, all his crap is here) but I would feel uncomfortable combining finances, etc. until we are engaged/married. And I like that there is some financial incentive for us to get married sooner than later! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsPanda99:  my parents initially thought that FI and i would move in together once we got engaged because it made sense. we could pay for the wedding and save money and reduce the financial burden placed on the both of us while paying for everything but the principle was more important to us. it’s something we want to reserve for marriage.

Post # 10
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think living together is a true test for a relationship, so I actually wouldn’t want to get married without living together first. I definitely don’t think it’s good to move in right away, but you can learn a lot about a person and your compatibility by living together. Moving out after a breakup isn’t fun, but it’s definitely better than a divorce

Post # 12
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

Nope! My bf and I do not live together, nor when we get engaged will we live together for our religious reasons. Surely, once he gets his house, we’ll have many naughty secret ‘sleep overs’ though! hahaha

Post # 13
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’d never get married without living together first. We however moved in together after agreeing that we would definitely be getting married in the future and that we were 100% committed. I wouldn’t move in with someone without having a firm committment that, barring any huge issues that come up from co-habitating, it was for keeps.  Too much mess to sort out splitting up assets etc. otherwise.

Post # 15
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

It’s fine if that’s what you want to do, but the reasoning doesn’t make sense to me.  You might not figure out until after you live with someone that you’re just not compatible.  It’s a pain to divide your things after a breakup, yes, but it’s easier (and cheaper) than the full legal process of a divorce.

 

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