Post # 1
So here is my little vent session. My very best girlfriend recently had a baby boy. I am very happy for her but it has made me look down on myself quite a bit.
I have been dating my SO for 6 years and we have always have financial hardships, it feels like we just can’t catch a break. He has been out of work on and off during the relationship and I have always had a steady job. We really can’t make it on our own unless we are both actively participating to bills so for the last year we have lived with our parents separately. We did live with each other for a few years but it just became to difficult with him not working all of the time. So for the time being we are trying to get on our feet.
Here is my issue. My bestie who I have known forever began dating this new guy last year; became pregnant a few months into the relationship and a few months ago got married. One of the reasons being for insurance purposes. Well she just had the baby and like I said I am very happy for her; I just saddens me that I have worked so hard at maintaining my relationship yet can’t progress as fast as I would like; and all of the sudden she meets this guy and she’s set for life. Won’t have to worry about money or anything.
Things have started to get a little better, he has a FT job now and we recently bought my engagement ring. So it is all in the works.
I just need some words of encouragement on how to accept that we will never have it easy and will always have to struggle. I feel so left behind and old.
Ok thanks for listening! Sorry for the long vent :/
Post # 3
it’s been rough but you guys have stuck together so that’s amazing. and yea this friend of yours ia married with a baby already but i’m sure it was super stressful and not an ideal situation for her. they got married because she got pregnant, from what you’re saying.
your relationship is moving at a different pace and it’s so hard to not compare your relationship to others, i know.
as long as you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend are supporting each, everything will work out someway
Post # 4
I’m sorry to hear about your frustrations. I understand, my Fiance and I have defnitiely have financial hardships too.
It’s hard not to feel guilty about being jealous of a friend. But one thing I’ve learned is you can’t compare your life to anyone elses. In the past I’ve been jealous of a friend who seems to have always got what she’s wanted and had no real hardships. But we never really know what others are struggling with. And as long as you are comparing yourself/your life to someone else you will never be happy.
You and your SO have been together for 6 years?! That’s great. You’ve found someone you love and love being with. Maybe you will have to struggle for many years but maybe not always. (You really can blame the economy right now). You have a partner who has shown he will be with you through hard times and good times.
Post # 5
Dont say it will always be hard because that way you’ll attract that!
You will soon be in a better situation, never give up! 🙂
Post # 6
Bah, I just wrote a bunch and deleted it by accident!!
Anyways, *hugs* it is totally normal for you to feel this way. I can relate – I have been with my Fiance for 9.5 years….uh huh…lol We’ll most likely get married on our 10 year anniversary…so I can relate to the SLOWNESS aspect…I have seen so many of his friends/family find partners, get married, and have babies in half the time our relationship has been going on. So I totally understand the feeling.
Things will get better for you two…do the best you can to pay down your bills and if you can manage it, tuck away about $200 per pay period and build up a nice savings cushion…it will give you great peace of mind.
Post # 7
I completely agree w ashkat: what looks good on the outside might not be that way in reality, i.e. your friend might really be struggling more or dealing with other things that you don’t know about. I know it’s super hard not to compare and think “why not me?” (I do it all the time, even today with something!) but trust that everything happens for a reason and you’ll get what you really want if you work for it, and it seems like you are. *hugs* 🙂
Post # 8
I’d look at it this way: Through thick and thin, you have loved him and he has loved you. Together or a part, you have made it work. Sure, it wasn’t instant like your friends, but it was tried and tested and you both came out at the end with a (hopefully) solid and happy relationship.
Down the road, every couple struggles and money is always going to be a huge issue with every couple. At least you two know that you will survive no matter what happens!