Post # 1
Hello Bees. Just wanted to get some opinions on showers where no gifts are opened. How do you ladies feel about this type of shower? Have you ever been to one?
Though I’ve never been to one, I feel like a no gift opening shower is like my dream shower to attend as a guest. I find watching people open gifts to be incredibly boring and I usually really hate finding shower invites in my mailbox. “Ugh…not another one.” is generally the thought that runs through my head.
And you knew this was coming…because of my aversion to watching gift opening at showers, I’ve opted not to include this at my own shower. I also HATE being the center of attention. So, I’m hoping that guests will have so much fun mingling and snacking that they aren’t bothered by the whole no gifts thing.
I also thought that maybe an “open house” style shower would be a good tipoff to guests that they shouldn’t expect a gift spectacle (lol.)
I just don’t know. I want to be able to enjoy my shower, but I also want guests to enjoy it too. I don’t want anyone leaving hurt because they didn’t get to watch me open my gift.
Post # 3
I had a large shower, with a shit load of gifts and it took like an hour to open everything (tops). As a guest, I like to see my gift opened and I know I’m not alone. Some may perceive not opening the gifts as rude so you should think about your guest list and gauge how they’ll react to this new concept. I imagine most older guests won’t be very receptive to it.
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2010 - The Pearl S. Buck House
Oh man, I have mixed feelings about this. It was excrutiating as a bride to open all the gifts- and my mom invited toooo maaany people! But the whole point of a shower is the gifts. We register for gifts, people are obligated to buy the gifts, the least we can do as brides is put on the show for them. If we don’t want to open gifts, we should’t have a shower… right?
And as a bridesmaid, when my friend tried to get out of openning gifts I was piiisssed because I couln’t get out of mine 😉
But I’m curious what other replies will be because it could also be really refreshing if someone really didn’t open them and let the party be a party…
Post # 5
I had the same feelings and wanted the same thing and I got such backlash that I didnt go through with it. From young and old alike the concensus was that without the gift opening its rude and people enjoy going to the shower for that reason.
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2013 - Castle Farms, Charlevoix, MI
What my sister-in-law did and what I plan in doing is opening the gifts while the guests eat! My bm’s and I will eat ahead of time and then do the gifts then.
Post # 7
Do a display shower – guests dont wrap gifts and they are “displayed” for all to see
Post # 8
I wouldn’t be hurt, but I think it would be rude. You can open gifts in a timely fashion (you don’t have to gawk over each gift…just open, look at it, and thank the person). I think older family members or people like myself who put a lot of time or thought into the gift(s) they give appreciate seeing you open it and acknowledge you are grateful. It does suck as the opener, but it’s just something you “should” do…like thank you cards.
Post # 9
@ThreeMeers: I have heard this “this is what the guests enjoy” thing before. I wonder if it should really be “this is what the older guests enjoy.” I said in my post that I hate watching gifts. I know most of my friends have agreed with me. My Maid/Matron of Honor is gladly going along with it (she also hates gift opening) and I know she wishes she could have done this at her shower.
My thoughts were this, without the excruciating gift opening, I’ll actually be able to talk to the guests. Chances are, there won’t we as much time to chat at the wedding. And at all the showers I’ve been to, I may have had the obligatory “how are you doing? great. you?” chat with the brides and grooms. There was only one shower where I was able to really converse with the couple more than just the standard pleasantries – but only because I was in the wedding. So of course, I was there early and late and able to talk to the couple more.
Post # 10
@missmovies: Yes, I thought this may be an option too..but then I was like, what do the cash gift givers do? We have a Honeyfund so there will probably be more than a few cards… I don’t know. What do you think?
Post # 11
I don’t think you can please everyone. I’ve been to tons of showers and never been to one where gifts weren’t open (except my own). As a guest – I HATE the gift opening part.
However, I think it’s expected that opening presents are part of a shower.
I didn’t open presents at one of my showers and I’m pretty sure it was missed (plus, the gifter is excited and wants to shower you – so, they also want to see your reaction).
If I were to do it over, I would have opened my presents at that shower.
….I think it’s important to be a QUICK gift opener (not one that takes forever and a day to unwrap each package carefully). That doesn’t mean you have to tear through it like it’s on fire, but just be quick about things and move it along…..
Post # 12
I went to a baby shower where we were asked to not wrap the gifts, so nothing had to be opened. Best idea- I loved it and so did my friends!
Post # 13
I like the display shower idea — I think people really do enjoy watching the gifts being opened. I know that for me I hate it when I give someone a birthday gift or a card and they say that they’ll open it later! I do take pleasure in people’s reactions to the stuff I got them, particularly if it’s handmade or has a special meaning.
Post # 14
I’m not sure I would mind either way. I like watching people open their gifts if the shower isn’t too large but it felt way awkward to do it at my own shower.
Post # 15
Thank you all for the input. I knew it all along, but I was hoping it wasn’t so. 🙂 There needs to be some thanking immediately (the kind that happens after opening and seeing a gift). The only way I can do that without opening the gifts is to request unwrapped gifts….but then there’s the card thing. Ugh. Sigh.
Post # 16
Maybe the open house type of shower and I will open gifts as the shower progresses and as people arrive.
Cons: This actually prolongs the gift opening to take the ENTIRE length of time the shower is held (or guests continue to come.) What to do if many guests arrive at once?
Pros: No spectacle if gifts are opening immediately in front of the guest. Guests can see their gift opened and be thanked immediatly.