Post # 1
I have planned AND paid for my entire wedding for the past two months. And I’m not seeing this situation get any better before our wedding day. (Mind you, I’m planning a 6,000$ wedding.) Put the deposit on the venue, on the photobooth, paid for decorations and save the dates. Got a beautiful dress off craigslist. My fiance has hardly helped me with anything. Our families are not wealthy, so we had decided to pay for this ourselves.. but it’s turned into just me. My bo has not been making great money (he’s a server), but refuses to go out there and find another source of income.. I’m working seven days a week to try to make ends meet. This is more of a rant than anything else, but is there anyone out there in the same boat? This is already killing our relationship and the happiness of planning a wedding. : (
Post # 3
This is the real problem that should be addressed
“My bo has not been making great money (he’s a server), but refuses to go out there and find another source of income.. I’m working seven days a week to try to make ends meet. “
You are in this together and whether you are paying for a wedding or saving for retirement or paying rent, you both need to be on the same page and willing to do what it takes to make it work. Not just one of you.
Really, this rant is more than about a wedding. I wouldnt be excited to get married if I saw evidence that my fiance isnt willing to work as hard as me to make our lives together work.
Post # 4
@lefeymw: Couldnt have said it better myself.
I understand that He doesn want to look for another source of income, but we all do things we dont want to do but have to! this wedding is NOT just for you. You are not walking down that isle by yourself and you are not saying your vows to yourself. Hes a part of this wedding event and he should pitch in what he can for it as well.. If he cant- then I dont know what to tell you – because if it was me in your shoes, I would have talked to him about it and if he disagrees or doesnt try to cooperate- I wouldnt want a wedding in the first place.
good luck =/
Post # 5
Thanks ladies. I’m just so frustrated and worn thin. He’s actually a really sweet and loving guy, he just doesn’t understand the urgency of everything. Or how unfair this is to me. My first instinct is to cancel the whole wedding, but I don’t want to make a decision I know I’ll regret.
Post # 6
Have you discussed your frustrations with him?
I had the same problem with my husband and when I told him I felt like he was just standing by, he explained that he was afraid of helping me because he didn’t want to ruin things.
Also, I don’t think there should be a reason he’s not making enough money to pull his weight. My waitress job not only paid all my own bills but also my college fees – I graduated with no debt, and had plenty of money in the bank with one part-time serving job. Maybe he should ask for more shifts?
Post # 7
We are paying for about a third of our wedding. We didn’t have any money in the bank so we needed to start saving. Everything was going well until my income got cut because I am unable to work (injured.) This means that we will come in almost $7k under where we need to be. We tried to cut the budget as much as we could and were able to cut about the same amount in costs but it’s been INCREDIBLY stressful. Also, I feel like I am the only one who feels the stress and Fiance doesn’t make as many sacrifices as I do (ie: I skipped dinner with my friends and just met up with them for a couple drinks, etc.) I don’t know if we will be able to have the honeymoon immediately and if we can afford it, we won’t know until much sooner to the date.
Needing to save up/pay for a wedding is incredibly stressful and it definitely takes the joy away from it. The day will come, it will be awesome and then it will pass and the stress will be off.
If this is a deeper issue about how you and Fiance differ as far as financial perspectives you should talk to him. I’ve directly told Fiance to please begin to look for a part time job because we need it…