Post # 1
OK, so here’s the deal… My FH and I are building a house, BEFORE we get married… My sister has her wedding coming up in August (I will not post the date as she has asked me to keep that private).. Anyway.. Our house will be OURS (the banks technically, I guess) on July 2, and I would like to do a housewarming party… Obviously we are not going to do it the first weekend in the house because A) Nothing will really be moved in yet and B) It’s 4th of July weekend and alot of people have plans already… Anyway.. I don’t know if it’s not ‘right’ to have our housewarming party in late July (her wedding is earlyish August)… No family from our side will have to travel for her wedding, in fact, they will all *mostly* be living extremely close to the new house… I have mentioned it to her and her only response, in a rather flat tone was “FH and I won’t be there, we have too much wedding stuff”.. Which is fine, she can visit whenever.. BUT! I have received invites to like goodness knows how many bridal showers for her (I currently know about 3 and have heard whispers of atleast 1 or 2 others), I don’t want to step on toes, but this new house is a HUGE ordeal for my FH and I, and I know most bees, including myself have the ideal that “Brides have 1 day, not a month, not a year but a day”.. Which is why I have not stopped myself from getting ready to plan this party (more of an open house so friends and family can check it out and come and go as they please).. Am I wrong to plan this party? There will be atleast 2-3 weeks between events, and FH and I are not expecting gifts of any kind, just having people over to check things out… Opinions? OH! And just so it’s not said.. I am not trying to steal thunder, FH and I have been working on building our house since November, before she was even engaged…
Post # 3
Why not have it after her wedding? That gives you a month to move in and get comfortable and settled and she’ll be able to attend without worrying about stress from her wedding.
Post # 4
I really think, especially if it’s 2-3 weeks before her wedding that it would be fine. In my mind it sounds like it could even be a nice chance for her to take a break from wedding-related things, but that doesn’t mean she would see it that way. I think I remember that you guys were able to reach a compromise about the dress you’ll be wearing at her wedding. Maybe you can sort something out with this, too?
Either way, it’s very exciting that your house is almost done!!! Building your own house just sounds awesome! Congratulations and I hope the housewarming party goes well! 🙂
Post # 5
@HeyKaraoke: FH wants it “done and overwith”.. He’s not a crowd person (not that I think we’ll get that much of a crowd)
@SwedishPancake: All of the bridal showers that I have gotten invites to are in July.. I think thats why she won’t be able to come, but I have no clue how many of them are ‘surprises’.. And yes, we never did really ‘agree’ on a dress for her wedding.. I am now in the wedding, and stuck in a short pink dress, and still don’t know what shoes I am wearing.. Hmm.. I should message her about that… But I’m still going to invite her, so she doesn’t feel left out, and if they have the time/chance they are more than welcome to come 🙂
Post # 6
i would try to do it after the wedding. But it really depends on our family. how close are you? do u get together often for family get togethers? you might want to wait untl after all the wedding hoopla.
Post # 7
Speaking from lots and lots of experience, housing construction rarely gets done when the contractor says it will. I would plan on moving in at least 1-2 weeks late because of “last minute issues” or inability to stick to the original timeline. Therefore, for your sanity and your sisters, I would plan to have the housewarming after the wedding.
*Unless the contractor says the house will be ready mid-June and you have planned for a July 2 move-in. Then you may be able to stick with your original plan of having the housewarming 1-2 weeks after move-in.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Are you going to be ready for a housewarming in 3 weeks- having everything packed/house set up/pictures hung up, etc.? You could try for labor day weekend- give yourself a little more time. I think you’re ok with the timing around her wedding, but I think it’s ambitious to think the house will be ready by then.
Post # 9
I would do it after. Moving is stressful and takes a long time to get adjusted.
Post # 10
I think that there is time, but your family / others that are involved in your sisters parties may feel like its a lot at once. To avoid guests ( including your sister) not coming I suggest just waiting so that you can enjoy the whole spotlight without stepping on any toes.
Post # 11
Do it later in the summer. There’s no way you’ll be unpacked, cleaned up and ready for guests on the timeline you’ve planned, unless you don’t have to work.
Post # 12
@CanAmBride: The builder has confirmed with me that everything is running VERY on schedule, actually ahead because of the wonderful weather we have been having… They were originally running behind (about 3 weeks) they are now running about 2 weeks ahead of the original finish date.. Our expected completion (originally) was mid June, so July 2 is our contract date 🙂
@rebwana: I will have PLENTY of help when it comes to hanging stuff/unpacking/setting up.. We don’t have a whole lot, so we don’t have a ton to unpack.. The only thing I am slightly worried about not having is curtains.. But I’m pretty sure we’ll get those pretty quickly as FH is a fairly private guy…
@Miss Beacon: Sorry– I didn’t see that you had responded as well… My family is close-ish and we rarely get together as a group which is why we are electing to do an open house…(I have a fairly large family as my dad has 8 brothers and sisters and 1 widowed SIL and my mom has a bother and a sister all of whom on both sides are married and a few have adult children of their own, or children who would come with them)
Post # 13
@MrsElopement: I think my fear in doing it after is that I will be in full swing of my wedding planning and don’t want to get myself overwhelmed…
@headoverhighheels: I am the only family member involved in my sister’s wedding.. She is walking herself down the aisle… The only way family is ‘involved’ in her wedding is if they show up…
@Ms. Kitty: I work noon to 9 and am a night owl, FH works 3:30 to midnight.. Chances are we can get things done before/after work and be ready in plenty of time..
EDT: No invitations or anything have been sent out for this, we were just tossing around ideas because FH knows that once I start wedding planning, I won’t stop for anything except to eat, breathe, pee, sleep, and work…
Post # 14
My immediate reaction was to wait, and I’m not a picky bride-to-be at all. I know you’ll want to celebrate such a huge event, but is it worth possibly hurting your sister’s feelings and/or leaving her out of the party? I just tend to err on the safe side when it comes to stuff like that.
If you’re worried about party planning while wedding planning, why not plan it out now but have it later? It doesn’t sound like the type of event that will take too much of your resources.
Post # 15
@Cecilia37: Sister won’t likely show up weather it’s before or after he wedding.. But she will still be invited either way… I’ll talk to my Maid/Matron of Honor about helping me plan this (she loves to plan parties)… I’ll think about it, but FH is really preferring do it within the first month..
Post # 16
Do I think that it is against “wedding ethics” to have your house warming a couple weeks before your sister’s wedding? Absolutely not. If it were me would I wait until after the wedding? Absolutely.
I’m in the process of moving and I have to say that unpacking and getting settled in is taking WAY longer than I anticipated. My fiance and I both work full time so it’s taking us a longer time to get everything done and we haven’t even gotten to things like pictures, curtains, decorating, etc. So purely for your sake I’d say to give yourself some extra time. Your FH has to deal with the same crowd sooner or later and I think it would be less stressfull for everyone involved if it was later.
It would also be a nice gesture to bothyour sister and her diance and your familyt o wait until the wedding craziness is over. It’s not wrong to do it before, it’s just more stress for everyone and I’m all for less stress!
So do what you want but my vote would be to wait.