Post # 1
Hey guys! It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Anyone running into the situation where you don’t think you are ready for a baby but he totally is?? I’m not sure if I’m to nervous/scared or just selfish and not wanting to give up my freedom. My husband would have love to have had at least one kid already (we had our 1 year anniversary in October). I keep hearing that maternal instincts will kick in or whatever and you’ll know when it’s time to have a baby and when the baby gets here you’ll know what to do. I don’t really see that happening for me. He’s really naturally really good with kids and I’m just not. There’s no pressure from my family but I feel some unspoken pressure from his family. I’m struggling with the idea lately and don’t know when it will be a good time. Any advice???
Post # 3
The best advice I can give is to listen to your heart. You may never feel ready, but your heart will know when it’s ok.
Post # 4
Are you feeling like you don’t want a baby at all or just now? Either way, they’re both valid feelings and I think you should be open and honest with your husband about it. You both should feel comfortable with the idea of having a baby and you shouldn’t feel pressured into it.
Post # 5
Hmmm…This is a tough one. Obviously open communication is a must but I understand that there is a point at which you’re like “ok we’re both being open, you want a baby, I don’t, we both want to please the other, now what?”. I would say two things. First of all make sure you have all your things you wanted to accomplish before baby accomplished, enough money, etc. And then, maybe try to look into baby world. lol. What I mean by this is perhaps try to babysit a friend’s kid. Go into the baby departments in stores. Lurk around baby blogs/posts. See if you get excited for it. I never wanted a kid–and I still don’t really–but when our closest friends had really cute babies I kind of came over to the dark side. And seeing baby crafts and stuff like that makes me want one sometimes.
Post # 6
Thanks guys. We are totally open with our communication about it. Everyone in both of our families knows that he is a kid person more than I am. I would eventually like kids I think I’m just too scared. I have a niece and nephew who are 5 and 3 and I love hanging out with them and every once in a while I get excited at the idea of being prego and all the fun times that go along with having kids but then I just get really scared. Maybe part of me just doesn’t want to grow up that much. I don’t know…
Post # 7
My man is baby crazy too, but only the last year or so. I’d always just assumed we’d get around to it at some stage, but now I realise I’m going to be 34 this year so if we’re going to we’d best get at it haha! I do have The Fears every now and again, but I think that’s totally natural, to be honest. It’s a big and difficult decision, for sure, but maybe it’s worth thinking about how exactly your life would change if you discovered you were pregnant i the morning? You know what I mean, if Fate just took the decision out of your hands, how do you think you would feel?
Post # 8
Now that I have a baby, I think my advice has changed. First, the cliched, you will never be ready to have a baby. There is always more you can do! Second, I would definitely make sure you are ready (in your heart) and not just doing it for DH. I had no idea what a strain having a baby would put on our rel’nship. I’m so glad DH & I both were on board with this, since we are really having to be a team through the crying at night, etc. It is all worth it at the end of the day, but I am glad we at least felt ready in other ways, with career, travel before baby, house, etc. My friend had a lot of instability during her “baby years”, and luckily her marriage made it through, but I can’t imagine how stressful that must’ve been. Of course, maybe you will get lucky and have a baby that sleeps better than mine. 😉
Post # 9
I definitely know where you are coming from. My reasons mostly stem from the fact that I already have a child, so I think I am burnt out from parenting on my own. In any case, I do think that an earlier poster got it right about knowing in your heart when you are ready :). When the time comes, I am sure you will be an awesome mum, too! >.<
Post # 10
Me!!! I totally understand. I don’t feel ready for a baby, but at the same time, we can afford one and I’m going to turn 30 this year. DH really wants one and I don’t think I will ever really be ready.
Post # 11
I def don’t feel ready . . . but our entire family and now my husband is on my butt . . . I’m 28, he’s 30, I;m looking to buy a house and be settled before we start on kids. i thought the girl is supposed to want the babies!
Post # 12
Yeah, I’m 27 and he’s 28 so we still have time but I’m feeling pressure. I would like to finish grad school first (in May!!!) and get a little more stable financially. It is a little more comforting knowing that I’m not alone in this situation and some other of you feel the same way. It’s still very stressful though!