Not really "b" list…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I go ahead and invite them?
    YES. Go for it, they'll appreciate the fact that you thought to invite them at all. : (27 votes)
    77 %
    YES, but you risk them being very offended. : (2 votes)
    6 %
    NO. It is totally rude and inappropriate. : (2 votes)
    6 %
    NO. Don't worry about, I doubt it even crossed their mind that they'd be invited. : (3 votes)
    9 %
    Other. Please comment below. : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    954 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Nicolettekds:  I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked me this late in the game! In fact, it happened last summer. I just thought it was nice of them to include to! Especially the way you have it worded, I think it’ll be fine.

    Post # 3
    Member
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    Nicolettekds:  are these people that you would take them (and their SO) out for dinner and pick up the tab?  If the answer is yes, then invite them.  If the answer is no, then don’t

    Post # 4
    Member
    481 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I like how you said you would phrase it.  Normally I would always say no but due to the circumstances and how you didn’t know them, if you say it how you mentioned here I don’t think they would be offended.

    Post # 5
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I totally say invite them!  I think I would word it less formally though.  Just explain that note that you consider them friends you’d love to have them share your day. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I know I wouldn’t be offended.  I would just appreciate you wanting to invite me.  ( the only way they might be offended is if they thought they were always a good friend, but if that’s the case then their feelings were probably already hurt when they didn’t get invited in the first place)

    Post # 7
    milkcowBee
    216 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton

    Nicolettekds:  Normally I’d be against it, but your explanation makes sense. I’d just ask them ASAP, include what you said here – especially about no gifts, although I don’t know the best way to phrase that, and be ready for the fact that they might still be offended/hurt. 

    Post # 8
    mscloverBee
    123 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL

    I would say exactly that. I did the same thing (with my resident, so I’m basically her boss). I didn’t want to ask her until she was hired for a position and I didn’t feel like I was in charge of her anymore. She was thrilled. I asked her two days after my RSVP deadline passed. If she’d been offended I would have understood but I think the vast majority of people would completely understand and be pleased you thought to invite them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t be offended at all if I was one of your co-workers, I think your explanation to them is fine as well. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would be offended if I got invited to a wedding two weeks in advance.  I probably would still go, but I wouldn’t be thrilled. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    508 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Nicolettekds:  I think how you have phrased it is wonderful. Go for it!

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