Post # 1
I’ll try and make this to the point. Since making our initial guest list and sending the list and addresses to our calligrapher to complete for sending out, I started a new position at my office. There are 3 other women on my team who I knew prior to taking the position but have recently gotten quite close with. I would really like to invite them and would be able to do so now since we have our RSVPs back and several nos. My dilemma is that the wedding is June 28th. Yes, 2.5 weeks away. If I invite them at this point they would need to make a relatively quick decision so I can get my totals to the caterer. It’s not that they were “b list”, I just didn’t know them as well when making the list before. I planned on saying something like “While I’ve been planning my wedding, I have always said that I want all of the important people in my life there to share my day. The lists and names were all sent off before I got to know you all. I know it’s a little late in the game, and may seem uncouth at this point, but I would like to invite each of you to my wedding.” And then add something about “don’t bring a gift”. Is it totally rude to ask them at this point? I don’t want them to feel left out, especially since they have been super helpful with everything while I’m planning.
Advice is appreciated!
Post # 2
Nicolettekds: I wouldn’t be offended if someone asked me this late in the game! In fact, it happened last summer. I just thought it was nice of them to include to! Especially the way you have it worded, I think it’ll be fine.
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse
Nicolettekds: are these people that you would take them (and their SO) out for dinner and pick up the tab? If the answer is yes, then invite them. If the answer is no, then don’t
Post # 4
I like how you said you would phrase it. Normally I would always say no but due to the circumstances and how you didn’t know them, if you say it how you mentioned here I don’t think they would be offended.
Post # 5
I totally say invite them! I think I would word it less formally though. Just explain that note that you consider them friends you’d love to have them share your day.
Post # 6
I know I wouldn’t be offended. I would just appreciate you wanting to invite me. ( the only way they might be offended is if they thought they were always a good friend, but if that’s the case then their feelings were probably already hurt when they didn’t get invited in the first place)
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2014 - The Meeting House/DoubleTree by Hilton
Nicolettekds: Normally I’d be against it, but your explanation makes sense. I’d just ask them ASAP, include what you said here – especially about no gifts, although I don’t know the best way to phrase that, and be ready for the fact that they might still be offended/hurt.
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - Fourth Presbyterian Church, Chicago, IL & Cheney Mansion, Oak Park, IL
I would say exactly that. I did the same thing (with my resident, so I’m basically her boss). I didn’t want to ask her until she was hired for a position and I didn’t feel like I was in charge of her anymore. She was thrilled. I asked her two days after my RSVP deadline passed. If she’d been offended I would have understood but I think the vast majority of people would completely understand and be pleased you thought to invite them.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t be offended at all if I was one of your co-workers, I think your explanation to them is fine as well.
Post # 10
I would be offended if I got invited to a wedding two weeks in advance. I probably would still go, but I wouldn’t be thrilled.
Post # 11
Nicolettekds: I think how you have phrased it is wonderful. Go for it!
Post # 12
Thank you ALL for your encouragement and advice! I went ahead and invited them this afternoon so I could give them as much time as possible. They were all very sweet and touched that I thought of them. 2 of them will be out of town but were very excited to just have been invited. And I did work in “please don’t feel as though you need to bring a gift, your presence is enough” Thanks again, Bees! Only 16 days left!!