(Closed) Not Registering?

posted 5 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
4496 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Ugh, that would be hard. I would never not register just because I know my and my FI’s family and I know that their tastes in certain things is SO much different than ours. We would end up with a bunch of stuff that just isn’t our style (I know that sounds ungrateful, but hey its true). People will still give you gifts (I have some family members that refuse to give money as a gift) it’ll probably just be stuff you don’t like and you’ll probably get multiples of a bunch of things.

I really don’t think anyone would look at you guys as being rude or gift-grabby because of registering. Thats what engaged people do and by not registering people are just going to assume you want them to give you money.

Also, I feel like it would take you so long to accumulate all of those household things on your own. The stuff can really add up and its so easy to go spend the money on something else rather than saving for a mixer or new knife set.

I think the charity thing is nice, but honestly I have designated charities I already donate to and I’m VERY picky about it. People have passions for different causes and honestly I wouldn’t like being asked to donate to a specific charity. If you do go this route though make sure that its to an org where a very low percentage of money goes to administration costs

Post # 4
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I didn’t want to register, so we only had a VERY small registry.

We got all cash! So we got to pick whatever we wanted after!

I do not regret our decision at ALL! The people who gave cash gave WAY more than the people who gave gifts!

Post # 5
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think he’s honestly being very sweet and well-intentioned, but shortsighted. I see where he’s coming from, but I suspect he will regret it when the *next* fight is who recently paid for more house items and who should pay for the next one. I think you know more about this than he does. 

I’d tell my mom/dad/aunt/MOH/whoever is on your side and arranging the shower that you’re hoping for a big shower so you can go into the new home with a few items. (Of course praise your FH for his altruism, don’t make him sound bad, but admit you feel more materialistic and worry about furnishing the house etc.)

It’s annoying that you’ll have to register alone, but think of it this way, if he refuses to come with you he can’t complain about what you pick out. I know that kind of sucks still but it does seem like the best compromise. 

Personally I’m more like your FH, I use a lot of disposable things, I move around a lot, I don’t like worrying about maintaining expensive items so I’m happy to use cheap crap and throw it out when it breaks instead.

To answer your question, we chose not to register at all, and are putting it on our website that we don’t want gifts because we live in Korea and the wedding is in the US where everyone else lives. Nobody wants to ship a kitchen-aid that far and we don’t really want to pay the customs fees or try to carry things. But if that’s not your style, there’s no harm in hinting around about it with people you know will be likeminded. 

Post # 6
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Most stores will make you register under both of your names, FYI.

Even if you register on the premise of registering for your shower, people will still buy off your registry for your wedding.  So you might as well put a lot of items on the registry that you and Fiance will both need/use.  Dishes, towels, sheets, and kitchenware are great items to upgrade!

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