(Closed) Not Registering?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Is he against the entire idea of having a registry, or does he just not feel like putting the effort into creating one? If he hates the whole idea of a registry, there may not be much that you can do. But if he just doesn’t feel like actually making one, go do it on your own (or with a friend, orhis Mom, or your mom, etc.). There is no rule that the groom must participate in the registry process, so have fun with it!

Post # 5
679 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

NOW is when you upgrade those items.  This is the only time in life that people want to buy you these things and you are allowed to ask for them.  He doesn’t have to go with you, just create a registry with the items you would like to upgrade; sheets, towels, kitchen knives, pots and pans, etc.  People want to buy you these things for your shower at least this way you’ll have a say in it.  If you do not have a registry, people will not automatically give you cash, most people will then decide for you what gift you need or will give you a store gift card as a shower gift.  The wedding, most likely you’ll end up with monetary gifts.  If he’s looking for money toward the honeymoon, why not set up a honeymoon registry as well?  (I know there are mixed reviews for this, but we heard nothing but raves about the honeymoon registry.)

Sidenote:  “Everything we need” is defined totally differently by men than by women.  Does he actually use all of those items when cooking or cleaning to “get” that although you may have a blender or vacuum, it’s probably not the best and makes the job more difficult?

Post # 6
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

We did not have a registry. We have been living together for over 3 years already and have everything we need already so we didn’t register. In our culture though, it is customary to give monetary gifts so we didn’t have an etiquette issue to deal with. We did get some random gifts from people though.

EDIT: our logic was just like your FI’s though. We can buy what we want to “upgrade” with the money we receive.

Post # 7
10565 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

If you refer to it as a ‘shower registry’ would he have as much of an issue with it?  I think if you’re having a shower it’s best to have a registry.  It would also allow you to have a few things on there for people who want to get you a physical gift.  If you keep it small I’m sure you’ll still get a lot of cash, especially if it’s mentioned when people ask about a registry.

Post # 8
4 posts
  • Wedding: April 2012

I had some issues with the way registries always make people spend money at huge corporations. I also really wanted to have a way for people to donate money to a charity of our choice in lieu of a gift. I looked around a lot at the different options and finally found myregistry.com and made it work. You can make a cash account through pay-pal on that site – you could call it “honeymoon fund” or something similar, which makes people feel like they’re getting you a gift rather than just writing a check. And you can choose to be vague about gifts – I have notes next to some that say “we’re not stuck on this exact product – if you know somebody who makes salt and pepper shakers, or have a favorite local store, we’d love to see what you find!” 

This is a touchy issue, and I’m not a big stickler about formal etiquette, but this is the closest I could get to allowing the flexibility I wanted without forcing everyone to go to Target, where I refuse to shop unless it’s required by someone ELSE’s registry 🙂

Post # 9
34 posts
  • Wedding: September 2012

We will not be registering. By we, I mean my fiance initially. When he said that, I thought about it and I decided I was ok with that.

We both have steady well paying jobs and we do buy stuff we want when we need them; we want this day to feel like a celebration with friends and families, and we don’t want them to worry about having to look up a list and find a gift before it. I could care less about the etiquette. Frankly, no one really wants to buy gifts so I doubt anyone would miss not seeing register info on your invites. 🙂

Post # 10
221 posts
Helper bee

There are a few things that we would love to upgrade, but we really have everything that we need. We will probably be moving a few times over the next few years due to his job, so investing in new dishes or glasses that I love, only to have them break would suck. None of our towels match and they’re covered in bleach spots too :-p. We actually received a nice blender for christmas, I got a food processor for my last B-day, and we got a kitchen aid stand mixer as an engagement gift. So we decided to just keep what we have (we literally have a closet of kitchen appliances), and just create a honeymoon registry.  We have it listed on our wedding website, so if people want to know, all they have to do is look. We’re hoping that by including it on our website and by word of mouth, we will get mostly cash. You can’t go wrong with cash. And whatever you get you can use to upgrade all those things you need as well. 

Post # 11
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Seems like you need some upgrades so a small registry should be fine (more than 10 things though).

At first fi didn’t want to register either but after we discussed it and after my bm told me we should, he agreed.  He had more fun than he thought he would and actually got really into it.  

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