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Hi Bees. FI and I are about to start the nitty-gritty part of wedding planning by talking to vendors such as finding a reception location and caterer. I read that most places will inflate prices for the same services just because a couple mentions they are planning a wedding. So we are thinking about calling it a 'family reunion." Has anyone done this, and has it worked for you? Do you feel you got a better deal by leaving the W word out? I'm not sure how to go about it. Will FI and I not be able to scope out a venue together to try not to tip anyone off? Will I have to take off my engagement ring? And then when do you let them know you're really planning a wedding? Let me know your stories!
I think you could save money that way, but beware. If it is a vendor that is going to be there the day of (photographer, makeup artist, caterer, ect), than they will know that you lied and that might effect their service.
i did both - would cold call vendors and ask for a "function quote" for like a church function or party - then would call back for a wedding quote. this only works with vendors that dont need to know its a wedding - like transportation and sometimes venue site (reception).
i saved about $400 with transportation.
My mother suggested doing this but I refused. I didn't feel right about deceiving the vendors who I am relying on to make my event perfect. If you have a contract for a "family reunion" but they find out its actually for a wedding, they could potentially screw you. Not worth it, if you ask me.
I did this with a few vendors for quotes.
limo company #1 quoted us $1350 for a wedding and $750 for prom. Same amount of hours and everything. The only thing different about the wedding quote was they provide a red carpet and a bottle of wine. Lame.
We got quoted different prices for chairs too. A back yard garden party was $1.50 less than the same chairs for a wedding. Lame.
I wouldn't let a vendor believe it's a different function, but I did call out the limo company and they would give us the limo for the same price as a prom (minus the cheesy red carpet and bottle of wine)
Don't be surprised if you get an upcharge bill after the fact. By telling them you're one event when you're actually another could be considered breach of contract. A limo company is going to know you're not a prom when they show up.
Most of our vendors needed to know it was wedding (photog, video, florist) but for transportation we didn't tell them it was wedding. Don't know if we saved any. We also tried that with the caterer but without meeting with them you can't really get a quote.
What's the difference between a prom and wedding? Again, I called out that limo company and basically made them tell me why a prom with a five hour min was $750 and a wedding with a five hour min was $1350. Doesn't that seem a bit crazy?
I'm not afraid to call vendors out. Brides need to know what companies do because of the wedding industry complex. Some brides are just willing to pay whatever because it's a wedding and that's why these vendors get away with charging more because "it's a wedding."
I heard this can save a ton thru a book i read called budget weddings but I am with CaitMarae that I myself could not do it either. I would feel bad and deceiving but misstattoo called them out on it so they knew that she was talking about a wedding and just wanted to know why and I am not at all against calling them out. I have done that too but never received any good answers or reasons for why they do this...I just know they do it because they know that everywhere pushes up the price for weddings because they believe a bride will spend anything on a wedding to be happy. Well that is what they think!
We got transportation quotes from a couple companies without telling them it was a wedding, but it didn't make any difference unless we got a package with things like wine and other perks.
We had a hotel for our reception and catering. They have their banquet menus online and our hotel, along with almost all the hotels we considered, had higher prices for wedding dinners. We spoke with them about it and they gave us the regular banquet price.
I would never lie to the vendor, but I would make sure to cover your bases by getting both quotes when in the vendor consideration process to ensure you're getting a fair price.
@Miss Tattoo: Re. the difference between a wedding and a prom. I didn't say there was a difference. My point was that if you say it's for a prom they're going to know you lied when they show up and discover a bride and bunch of bridesmaids which will end up in an upcharge for breach of contract.
Definitely be careful to make sure that the services you require aren't different because it is a wedding. For example, we had no trouble doing this with the luncheon after the ceremony, which was just a lunch in the private dining room of a restaurant. However, a photographer at a wedding does a lot more than a photographer at a family reunion. (There are a lot of shots like the kiss that have to be done at a specific time, or they are missed forever, which is not typically true at a family reunion.) Even for the venue, if you want a dance floor, space for a DJ or band, opportunity to bring in cake from elsewhere, etc., you are asking for much more than would be required for a normal family function.
I think a reasonable middle ground is to call and ask about nonwedding prices, and then call back and ask about wedding prices. That way, if the estimates are very different, you can ask what extra is included with a wedding, and see if you can't negotiate away the "extras" to get a lower price.
I had a lot of vendors straight up ask me, "is this for a wedding?" which made it tough.
@Miss Tattoo I agree, the wedding industry is a rip off business when you compare apples to apples services for a wedding vs. party. Calling people out on the price difference is a good bargaining idea. I even had one dress sales person say the wedding industry is ridiculous, and she's in it!
@BanditGirl I'm not planning on waiting for the day of the wedding, letting the vendor show up, and then say "sike, it's a wedding, fooled you!" Lol. Yes, I agree that wouldn't go over so well. When I asked how to go around tipping them off I meant more along the lines of initial price shopping anonymously, before signing a contract. Like how spaganya mentioned about cold calling.
Now of course there are certain vendors that we pay specifically for their wedding specialties such as photographers and cake decorators. Vendors who I think would be price gouging are tent renters, linen suppliers, florists, and so on.
@beebeebuzzbuzz: lol sike. I love it.
The rental companies around here upcharge for a wedding. Again, why is a white garden chair for a wedding $3.00 a piece and a white garden chair for a back yard party $1.50?
I got a quote for $1750 for a pole tent for a wedding, and a lower quote from the same company when called later in the day for a "graduation party." What's the difference? Aren't you bringing family and friends together to celebrate a milestone?
I think it's dishonest and could have potentially disastrous reprecussions. I see that beebee wasn't considering doing this with a photographer, but I have heard stories from fellow photographers where brides told them it was a family reunion or other family function to get a lower price and then they got there and found out it was a wedding.
Personally, if this were done to me I would be extremely annoyed and within every right to leave, as I was not hired for a wedding and therefore not obligated to shoot one. I may, in good nature, sit the couple down and discuss their options for upgrading to a wedding package and having them sign a new contract on the spot if possible to avoid leaving them completely high and dry all together. Either way, you wouldn't get away with it, at least not with photography.
well as much as it would be nice to simply do that in order to get discounts it doesn't work that way.
Speaking as a vendor and a previous bride...
Any event that takes as much as work as a "wedding", will cost extra. It's simply the amount of work and number of required pieces that bring up cost. Not to mention that those "events" are usually on Saturdays which is a prime time for any vendor.
I don't buy the "it's more work" thing for vendors. I mean sure, with photographers, videographers, and planners, they are working harder for a wedding. A photographer isn't going around a family reunion trying to get the perfect shot of the kiss, or the grooms face, or organizing large groups for photos. So I get why the price is different for them, but for other vendors? yeah, I'm calling them out. If you can't break down the cost difference, then I'm not going with you. Especially the limo service. I do not see why they charge more for a wedding. Are they using a more professional driver? No. They are coming to pick you up, sit in the parking lot until they need to take you somewhere else. Don't they do the same with prom? They pick you up and sit and wait until you are done to take you home.
Like I said, I plan on cold calling and getting quotes for a wedding and then quotes for another function. If there is a price difference, then I'm asking why.
I still agree with Miss Tattoo lol. Yes, some services do require more work for a wedding than for another event, but lots of services do not. I don't see anything wrong with just asking vendors why there is such a price difference just because it is a wedding. If they can't come up with a good reason, I would ask for the price to be lowered. People need to stop being ripped off just because they're getting married.
@Miss Tattoo: I would think they would want to charge more for chairs that are going OUTSIDE in the DIRT. But what do I know?
I actually didn't have this problem, as our vendors in a very small town were pretty reasonable to begin with.
But if I were you, I would ask for quotes for both family reunion and wedding and if they are significantly different, CALL THEM ON IT! Tell them that it's a rip off and if they want your service, they will charge you for a family reunion. If not, you will take your money elsewhere.
I agree with others that you have to be careful about doing this, and think about if the vendor will actually be there on the day of your wedding and will find out what the event is. There is no way that you can tell a venue, caterer, DJ, photographer, etc that the event is not a wedding because it clearly will be when they show up. This even goes for transportation: if they charge a different wedding rate and you walk into the limo in a wedding dress, don’t be surprised if they are rude to you on your wedding day or if they even come back and charge you the more expensive rate anyway.
I ABSOLUTELY agree that it is ridiculous for *some* vendors (such as a limo company) to charge higher rates for weddings than for other events, though! I just don’t think that you would be able to get away with lying in some situations and still getting good service and/or keeping the cheaper rate. It could certainly work to your advantage to get quotes for both a wedding and another type of event and use the differing quotes as a bargaining chip to lower their wedding rates, though.
On my end, I ended up telling all of my vendors that my event was a wedding, but I considered not telling them in a few cases. I got my (very minimal) flowers from a local shop and picked up the flowers (did not have them delivered), and I considered not telling them it was for a wedding—but since I was ordering bouquets, I did not think that would work! I was also mad that my salon charges nearly twice as much for a “bridal updo” than for a regular updo. I was having my regular hairdresser do my hair for the wedding, though, so I did not think I could lie to her (plus we did a trial, which would not normally do for an updo for a different kind of event). That worked out to my advantage, though, because she ultimately ended up charging me even less than the normal updo rate! (I got finger waves and not an updo, but I knew she put me in the computer as “bridal updo.”)
It's true that prices are sometimes inflated for weddings, and that stinks. However, I wouldn't mislead a vendor about my function. I agree wholeheartedly with previous posters who call out vendors on price inflation, but I'd be very cautious about claiming a different kind of event.
@ejs4y8: I had the same thing happen to me. They wouldn't even give me a price unless I stated exactly what it was for.
I have heard of doing this but like other posters have said, its a very devious thing. If you get caught it could potentially ruin everything. This is just where good bargin tactics come in. Just let the vendor know what they are charging you can't affored and then ask if theres corners you can cut or other options. A vendor will be more then happy to come down on a price when your honest then give you a great wedding when they find out they have been lied too.
P.S. I do have to say though that there is nothing wrong with calling them out on a price if they quote you two different ones just because is a wedding vs prom. You just shouldn't out right lie though. Two wrongs will NOT make a right, let alone a successful wedding.
I didn't feel like I was upcharged for anything because it was for a wedding. Our venue posted its prices online - having an event there on a Saturday (wedding, family reunion, corporate event) is all the same price.
I personally think it's a really bad idea to tell a venue it's anything but a wedding. A wedding has a different timeline, different needs- cake cutting, toasts, first dances, bouquet toss (if you so choose), etc. The venue generally has to work with more vendors to accomplish your event. I think honesty is the best.
If you go in being honest, it's easier to negotiate the price down. If you're dishonest, then come clean, they are less likely to make a deal with you.
However- chair rentals, I would get 2 different quotes (if they are different) and then ask them why there is a difference.
I can see "omitting" it's a wedding at first with some vendors, but straight up lying and saying it's a family reunion or something else just isn't a good idea to me.
And then when do you let them know you're really planning a wedding?
A lot of posters are really focusing on the OP lying to vendors. I don't think the OP meant that she would lie to the vendors, but more as Miss Tattoo said, scope them out to find out the different prices and then figure out why an upcharge, if any. I think we all agree some services such as a photographer, reasonably charge more for a wedding due to the increased services, however there are others that off the top of my head I can't think of a reason why they should be different. If they provide a good explanation, then you can decide if you want what they provide (e.g. red carpet & drinks for limo ride). I personally would be upset to find out that a limo, chairs or champagne toast cost more at a wedding than a 25/50 year anniversary party, but I've heard generally of folks who had that situation. And if it were simply the fact that it's an in demand date, as one poster suggested, then the prices ought to be the same for the two events on the same date.
The only time we fibbed was for our petit fours. We said they were for a family gathering and picked them up ourselves instead of having them delivered, but even if they'd been delivered...it's not like our venue was set up like a wedding reception. We got them for $1.50 each instead of the crazy-high $4 each that I was quoted when I called a month before we ordered and used the word "wedding."
@kay01 Thank you! That is exactly what I meant!
I don't think people were personally attacking me here though (unless I read it wrong). I think they meant the general idea is deceptive. For the record, I'm a really bad liar, so I would probably only go as far as cold calling people. If you asked me to lie to someone about what I ate for lunch I would probably feel bad about doing that. But a wedding is a big deal, and it costs thousands of dollars to pull off. I just want to make sure I'm getting my money's worth. If there is a fee for extra work or hours that go into setting things up for a wedding I will gladly pay it, IF it's justified. If I have to pay and extra $100 for a floral table centerpiece that could easily go to the same table at an anniversary party I think that is wrong and deceptive. I just don't want to be taken advantage off from people who think that just because I'm a bride I have some emotional connection to these things and am willing to pay twice as much.
I'm with Ms Tatoo. Call the suckas OUT! At that point your letting them know its for wedding but hey why the price differance. Shoot, what the limo company was gonna make off her was no small change.
I think the key is just to, like others have said, get a quote for a wedding and get a quote for some other event and then work with the vendor to negotiate the price down. This could be for the photographer, receiption site, the food, etc.
There is a mark-up for weddings and most vendors and locations have the ability to negotiate their price some. You may not get the same low price as a family reunion as you would for a wedding, but I'm sure you can wiggle some.
I, personally, would probably be a little leary of a vendor who refuses to give a quote without knowing the event other than, like, a photographer or an event planner.
I am also fed up of people trying to take advantage when they here the word wedding! Yes you can't do that with a photographer, they do require more work. But I am going to call the bakery and get a qoute for a plain solid frosted 3 tier cake for a family gathering. (I plan to add my own decor to cake )
DH's Grandparents paid for our cupcakes for the wedding. They took us up there to finish all the details and make the down payment and right before we walked in she was like. "Cupcakes for a party were quoted $2.50 and cupcakes for a wedding were quoted $3.50 so try not to tell them that it’s for your wedding."
I was like what?! If price was going to be an issue I was fine with the original $13 for 30 cupcakes at Sam's club we had chosen. Lol
It ended up working out in the end because they asked if it was for a wedding and she then said “Yes, but I was quoted $2.50 a cupcake.”
It all worked out but I was very uncomfortable lying about what the cupcakes were for.
Side note: I did ask why they charged more for wedding cupcakes and she said they spent more time making the frosting perfect and full. That to me is not worth the extra $1 when you are buying 300.
We called it a wedding the whole way through. The only spot i feel we could have saved money if we lied was with a photographer but, it would be quite obvious when they come to photograph you and you're wearing wedding attire. Everything else seemed to have standard prices. Venue, Catere, Cupcakes, Decor, etc.
This poll reminds me of this set of videos on youtube....hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ff13zZ0h0k - Flowers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gimiDBAK2wA&feature=related - Cake
Beware: I work in the legal field and if you sign that contract at a misquoted price because you misrepresented your event and they find out, you could be held liable for breach of contract. If you want your vendors to be straight with you, you must be straight with them as well....
I agree, how vendors can get away with extorting prices as soon as you mention the "w" word is absurd. Even for venues, when I did a bit of event planning for my last job.. If I wanted a normal meeting room for a business function it was $300. For that exact same room the wedding package charged the couple $1000.. Maybe set up and take down would be a bit more work involved.. But I was amazed when I saw that since I don't know how they can justify the prices.. But I agree you can't lie on a contract.. It is hard to see what vendors you can try and hide the "w" word from so it won't be obvious.. But the videos that @sweetlikecandy posted were great and 100% true ;)
Unfortunately I have always called it a wedding, just because I am scared of getting caught out and having them come and kick us out. I am 99% sure my venue would be much cheaper if I hadn't said it was a wedding. They are making me pay $1500 plus $10 per person just for the privilege of having a wedding there. That is on top of the $1300 to rent out the house (it is a holiday rental house) for a week. They are also making me hire portaloos, despite the fact that the house has 2 bathrooms, one of which guests can get to without going into the house, and I will be only having 40ish guests. I am considering just not doing so and saying I did.
I am considering phoning up and asking how much is would be for a 40 person 80th birthday lunch, or a 40 person baptism lunch, or something like that, rather than a 40 person wedding lunch, just to see how much we are getting ripped off.
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