(Closed) Not sharing passwords – relationship dealbreaker?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Is not having the passwords of your SO a dealbreaker?
    Yes : (26 votes)
    10 %
    No : (180 votes)
    72 %
    Maybe (please explain) : (44 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9625 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MrsWBS:   I completely agree with you.  DH and I have each other’s passwords if we need them but neither of us feels the need to snoop.  We trust each other.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Personally for me having my someone whom I dating ask for all my passwords would be a dealbreaker. I find it controling. I understand people who have trust issues, but at the same time making your current spouse pay for what other people did you to seems a bit unfair.

    I have nothing to “hide”, however I don’t think there is one good reason for someone to have passwords to all my personal accounts. and I seen coutless people get burned by doing this, for example a friend who had her disgruntled boyfriend whom she was with for three years log into her fb and post pictures of a sexual nature they took together, he seem like a nice guy and i was in shock that he did something like that.

    I think now that we are getting married I feel a bit more relaxed about giving some information but it still something I prefer not do.

     

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    5227 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @MrsWBS:  I feel like if someone is going to be shady, they’re going to do it regardless of if you have their PW info. So– it wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me BUT, DH and I are very open with PW’s and such. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    4525 posts
    Honey bee

    We shared passwords pretty early on. He always forgets what mine is, so I have to remind him anytime he wants to get into something of mine, but he knows I’ve told him a hundred times. The only password he ever hid from me was for his MoissyCo account. 

    I wouldn’t have a problem if we didn’t have each other’s passwords. If he suddenly changed them all without telling me, then I might have a problem. 

    (And just to clarify, we don’t log into each other’s stuff very often. He’s tech savvy and will work on my computer for me, and I log into his Facebook to accept Sims Social requests from me. We don’t do it without each other’s permission.)

    Post # 7
    Hostess
    7568 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Sunfire:  Agreed. We share passwords for practical reasons, but we don’t use them to snoop. If I didn’t use his email to do wedding planning sometimes, it wouldn’t bother me if I didn’t have his password. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    5429 posts
    Bee Keeper

    The story in your post of the man waiting 5 years to say that he wants to basically snoop into her social network is maybe looking for an out in that relationship. Waiting for 5 years is too late if you ask me. 

    That being said, I don’t have my FI’s password for his phone, facebook (never uses it anyways) or bank cards. As for me, all my passwords are written down in my agenda. And he looks over my shoulder when I am on the computer anyways, so I have nothing to hide from him. meh.

     

    Post # 9
    Member
    434 posts
    Helper bee

    I agree with you completely, I dont feel the need to know my SOs passwords for anything I completely trust him and he has never given me any reason not to and I him. :]

    Post # 10
    Member
    6813 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Nope not a deal breaker, DH and I have been together almost 5 years we do not know each other passwords. If he wants them he can have them or I can have his, we just trust each other enough not to care if we know them or not. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee

    I know his password for most things (he uses the same variation on everything) but I went to log on his facebook the other day to get a photo and that password wasn’t the same as the ones he usually has.

    I just shrugged and asked him to send me the photo when he was next logged on. I didn’t think there was anything weird about it…

    But if I had asked and he refused to give it to me, then I would find that dodgy. I’m open about all of mine! (except amazon! he isn’t snooping to find out what I’m getting him for Christmas!)

    Ooh, before I forget though, I always know when he doesn’t want me looking at something. We just got engaged this weekend and when we were out he was looking at his phone. I just looked over to him (not even looking at his phone!) and he was like “hey! stop being nosey!” – next thing I knew he took me into a florist and we picked up a bouquet my mum had sent – he was on the maps on his phone trying to find the place so I’d be surprised!

    Post # 12
    Member
    2104 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    My husband is in IT and is uber protective of his passwords. He does not share them with me. I have absolutely no reason not to trust him, so I’m not worried about it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    5833 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I see no need to know my OHs passwords, and vice versa. Just not necessary.

    Post # 14
    Member
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I had no desire to know, although I already do know. He uses the same password for everything. 

    We share a computer and our tablets so we’re pretty open with that kind of stuff.

    Post # 15
    Member
    141 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Just because we are in a relationship does not mean we are not entitled to privacy. I don’t have my FIs passwords and he doesn’t have mine.  I have nothing to hide, and no reason to think he’s hiding anything.  If I ever felt differently (that he was hiding something) I would probably just leave the relationship.  Not trusting the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with is no way to live.

    Post # 16
    Member
    7318 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Neither of us have anything to hide, but we don’t make it a point to remember each other’s passwords either. And passwords are definitely not a deal breaker for us. I would hope that passwords would not be a dealbreaker for anyone who is married. I think the vows we made mean a bit more than that.

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