Not strong enough anymore

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3557 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Take a deep breath and step back. At the end of the day a wedding is just a party. It’s not worth getting this worked up over. The more you try to micromanage, the more stressful things get. You just have to let go and let things happen. At this point I’m guessing that most of the wedding is planned and you’re down to small details. If you’ve got the framework in place, trust the professionals you’ve hired to do their jobs and fill the rest in. 

Post # 3
Member
41840 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

MrsMY:  Hope you feel better for venting. This too shall pass.

Post # 5
Member
1885 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

You can do it!!!!!

Post # 6
Member
1829 posts
Buzzing bee

 

MrsMY:  take a step back and relax. Try to remember how excited you were to get engaged to your FI and what this wedding is really about. All that matters is that the two of you sign the papers and make your love and committment official. As Eckle said, at the end of the day the wedding is just a party and it’s the marriage that counts. 

Have you got bridesmaids or your mother or and aunt (etc) who can help with all the fiddly things like checking RSVPs or any DIY projects you wanted to achieve? 

Post # 7
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

You’ll be fine – this is normal. Treat it as a learning experience for your relationship .. you guys will actually get stronger from this. Here’s my tips:

  • Agree to disagree on some things – work out what’s really important to you and what you will compromise on. After all, this is a party for two people – there will always be compromise (even if you’re the bride!).
  • Make a list of everything left to do. Assign tasks to either yourself or your FI and give him free reign of his tasks. Resign yourself to the fact that whatever he chooses for these things will be fine, and know that he has chosen them because he likes them.
  • Go out on a date with your FI. Have a picnic somewhere, take time to appreciate what’s about to happen, and to appreciate each other. Talk about your first date, what you might do together the first free weekend after the wedding. Absolutely no wedding planning talk allowed.
  • Take an hour or two just for yourself. Get your nails done, have a massage, go for a walk, lie on the couch and watch girly movies. Turn off your phone and resist the urge to think about the wedding. Relax and take care of yourself.

As hard as it is, take a step back and try to enjoy these last five weeks. You’re getting married! Good luck with the rest of the planning 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2014

agreed All this extracurricular work can strain anyone. I would agree try to enlist others to help and if not regardless take some time to decompress and think about the good things you are getting out of this.

Post # 9
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I completely understand what you mean – FI and I have had loads more arguments about the wedding than anything else… it will come through, stay with it but remember that you are organising a party, and it’s the marriage that matters ultimately, not the wedding x

Post # 10
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

Weddings are so stressful!  There’s lots of good advice here from other Bees. Also can I suggest that you take a night off.  Surprise FI by him coming home to candles, wine, a nice meal / favourite takeaway and tell him that you are very much looking forward to being his wife, and that things have gotten crazy with all the wedding stuff but you want to reiterate that you’re excited about marrying him. You can’t wait to walk down the aisle and see him waiting for you. And then don’t talk about a single wedding thing for the rest of the night.  Hopefully a bit of breathings space will let you both reset.  Plan a few me-time things in the the coming weeks, massage/nails/movie and remember it will all be ok on the day! No-one will notice if the settings are blue instead of aqua, or the favours aren’t exactly what you planned, or any of that sort of thing. Don’t sweat the little things, the one big thing is that you’re marrying the man of your dreams and the rest is just icing on the cake.  Hugs 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Honestly, this sounds pretty normal.  Remember to breathe.  You’ve gotten some great advice from PPs.  This too shall pass.  

It’m be a lot easier on you if you take the good advice you’ve gotten here.

Post # 13
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

At times when I feel this stressed out over stuff like this (you know, weddings, massive parties you are throwing, dresses, rings, food etc) I like to think about all the people in the world who don’t have food, don’t have homes or family, are addicted to drugs etc, and think what is the point of feeling this stressed out that you are fighting with the guy you are going to marry. I know you didn’t want relationship advice and I’m not going to give you any, but don’t you think the fact you have turned into “rivals instead of lovers” while planning a party, says a lot about how your relationship will handle the big hurdles which WILL come, in marriage?

Post # 14
Member
1111 posts
Bumble bee

MrsMY:  Whenever I’ve found it overwhelming or too much we go for a walk or for day trip somewhere or out for dinner (or whatever it is that the two of you like doing together) and the wedding is banned, we are not allowed to talk about it or think about it or anything to do with it. It’s nice to have the time to just go back to being us. Maybe you should do something similar and try and remind yourselves why you got engaged in the first place.

Post # 15
Member
2364 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

MrsMY:  YES YOU ARE!!! 

I’m 2 weeks out now and have to say the past 8 or so have been an emotional roller coaster.  Some days I felt in control and ahead of the game then something would happen that would send me into a tailspin like “how the hell am I going to get this done??”…then, something positive would happen to put me on track…then a bomb would get dropped…lol. 

At the end of the day, it all comes together b/c it HAS to, and it will.  And I totally second people saying to take a day/night out with your FI and not talk wedding.  I think half the stressor for me is people not being able to talk to me about ANYTHING but.  I bump into a neighbor at the store and they ask about it.  Coworkers, friends, family, my nail lady.

Breathe, girl.  It’ll be great.  

(PS wait for my post from my glass case of emotions in a week from now lol!!)  

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