(Closed) Not Sure How I’m Feeling

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Okay, so it’s fine to feel whatever you are feeling. And most brides would feel a little disappointed and bereft at the the whole thing–totally normal and it doesn’t make you a bridezilla to feel that way at all.

But although it’s crummy, in the end, you know you can’t control who has their wedding around your wedding–you can’t “reserve” two weeks to “buffer” your big day. I’m willing to bet that when your friend scheduled her date that either a) it didn’t even enter her mind that it was a week before yours (yes, she knows your date, but if she’s anything like me, I often don’t realize that Sept 7 is a week before Sept 14 unless seeing it visually on a calendar OR (more likely) b) she has a lot of OTHER people that she needs to please with the date–maybe she could only get hte venue for that date, or maybe someone in her FI’s family is getting deployed after that date or…There are a lot of variables that can go into choosing a date and maybe she didn’t have a good choice. I guess it’s *possible* that she wanted to go to the altar first, but that seems like a supremely bizarre thing to do–especially because if you really want to be first, why not make it a whole month ahead or whatever? 

Sorry for the tough love, but you are being a great friend by acknowledging that it’s a special time for her too and committing to not bringing anything negative into the equation. My advice is that you consider it a blessing to be planning BOTH your weddings alongside each-other. If you’re great friends, then you’ll always have someone to talk flowers and napkin colors with and not worry about boring them ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh and don’t worry–most people are just there to congratulate you and to have a good time. They’re not going to “compare” your weddings–and even if they did, who cares? Some people may like her choices better than yours, but that’s a matter of personal preference, and in the end, you probably wouldn’t have changed your vision just because of that anyway. 

Post # 4
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t think this was about competition but I do understand your frustration. 

Even if you did say anything what end result are you hoping for? 

Post # 5
Member
7309 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Well, that’s annoying.  But I think you can’t say anything- I mean, she can have her wedding when she wants.  And if they have picked a date, well, then its done.

Post # 6
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand why your upset, but you will have to get through it. You don’t want it hurting your relationship. A similiar situation happened with me, however Our wedding is one week before my Fiancees cousin… oh and they are in different countries (His in Europe, Ours in USA) .. with the majority of his family living in Europe. We are going to be at his cousins wedding which is a destination wedding, it will be in a different country from where him and the rest of the family lives. I decided instead of making a big deal about it , I needed to just get over it… and hope as  many people in his family can afford to make it here, and if they can’t we will atleast be spending time with them when we are over there. I would give it a week or so and collect your thought before deciding to talk with her, that way you don’t say anything that might come off the wrong way.

Post # 7
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

One of my MOHs recently chose a date exactly one week before mine…I was really upset…It still annoys me, but I try not to think about it and just focus on my own wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You shouldn’t be annoyed its a week before yours she has her day and you have yours. I think BMs should help within the scope of which they can and its the bride job to plan and exectue her vision herself along with her FH. Just help eacother as much as you can and what you can’t do for each other oh well itll have to get done some other way.

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