Post # 1
My FI and I recently got engaged and now we’re in the process of picking out a ring. Because of his work and commute schedule, I have more time and resources to do the research. I’ve been looking online, reading websites and books and going to various stores in person and I am so overwhelmed. The rings that I love are out of our price range and the one ring I found and fell in love with in a chain store has not so favorable reviews for various reasons (it happened to be a quad cut diamond ring, but apparently its socially unacceptable after doing some online research).
I’m am ready to tell him that I can opt out of a ring, get a plain band now or wait until we get married to get a wedding band.
How did you pick out a ring when engaged? Did anyone decide to opt out of having an engagement or even wedding rings? How did you made the decision? He really wants me to have a ring, but I’m not sure I can deal with the stress. I went from looking into diamonds, to sapphires, back to diamonds to man made stones, etc.
Post # 3
First off, whoever told you quad cut diamonds are socially unacceptable is a douchebag. I’ve seen a number of quad cuts and clusters that are outstandingly beautiful! I’d never judge someone for having one, so if that’s what you are leaning towards then go for it lady!
Why don’t you two try hammering out a budget first. Decide on a budget, then go shopping around some local jewelry stores with that budget in mind and just try on rings ONLY within your budget. I’m sure you’ll find something that speaks to your heart that way.
You can also try going the route of a higher-quality CZ until you two can afford something with a diamond/sapphire down the road. This is also a good way to make sure you like the setting/stone type before throwing down a huge chunk of change on it.
Post # 4
Also: CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement 🙂 And welcome to the Bee!
Post # 5
What’s wrong with a quad cut ring? You’re the one seeing it every day, so who cares what other people think! It’s not my personal style, but that’s why they make so many different styles of ring, everyone’s got different preferences. I got a mokume gane ring, and that’s because my fiance and I wanted something that reflects my heritage.
You fell in love with a ring, so go back to the store and try it on again. If you can see yourself wearing it for the rest of your life, then you’re good to go 🙂 Same goes for the stone. There’s no right answer of diamond, created stone, colored gemstone, whatever. It’s what YOU love and what speaks to you.
Post # 6
@MissCalifornia: Thank you!! I actually read a pretty old (few years old) post here about quad cut rings. More than anythning, I’ve read that that quality is not great for the long-term. Aparently, too often the center stones can get lost, but it may depend on the overall quality of the ring itself. I’ve been to a few “mall” stores to try on rings and it helped, but they are obviously overpriced and the quality of the rings are pretty so-so. We do have a budget and that helps a lot, but its stil pretty overwelming. I do like the idea of a CZ (or similar) stone until we settle on what I want for the long-term.
Post # 7
We chose my ring together by going to jewelry stores together and I looked online everywhere that I could think of. I found a ring that I really loved and kept going back to it online and in person.
As for quad cuts, no, not everyone likes them, but if YOU like them, get one! You’re the one wearing it for the rest of your life, not anyone else.
Post # 8
Here’s how I figured out what I liked:
1) Figure out the budget you’re working with.
2) Figure out if you want something colored or colorless. What do you want to wear for the rest of your life?
3) Figure out, based on your budget and color preference, what options are available to you: diamond, gemstone, moissanite, diamond alternative, etc.
3) Do a lot of research online. Search the boards here, look at all of the different styles, and save pictures of the ones you like. Look at different stones AND settings.
4) After you have an idea of what you might like, go to a jeweler and try try try. I went to pretty much every jeweler in my area, more than once, to try on different ring styles. I totally though I wanted a cushion halo based on the pictures I saw online, but it ended up not looking as great on my finger. So make sure you try things on! Even if it’s just stopping in the jeweler while you’re at the mall!
5) Get your SO in on it. After I had a good idea of what I liked, I talked to my SO about what he liked. Luckily, we’re on the same page.
Let us know how it goes! Hope this helped!
Post # 9
@FutureSLS: Thanks for the tips! You are soooo right, what looks good in a photo may not look so hot on you. I’m a size 7 finger so some of the styles that I may like on paper may not look flattering on me. I will keep trying on until we get it right. Definately don’t want to rush into this…
Post # 10
When I got married, we didn’t have enough money to purchase an engagement ring and set up housekeeping too. We opted for plain white gold bands which we still have today. On our one year wedding anniversary, I got a .5 tcw round brilliant solitaire. We bought it from a local jeweler with options to trade up. Over the years, I have traded up three times. My husband and I, now, wear white gold channel set diamond wedding bands and my engagement ring is a 3 stone diamond ring. (Oval center with pear side stones) Sometimes I still wear my original wedding band stacked with other diamond bands collected over the years, to achieve a different look. I don’t think you have to start out with an engagement ring. For us, we started with plain white gold bands and had fun, over the years, adding to them.
Post # 11
It turned out to be pretty easy. I went into the shop and told the woman I didn’t know what I liked or what suited my hand so I’d like to try different things. She took out a huge board or rings from under the counter and asked which one I liked at a glance to try first. I saw one I loved and tried it. None of the others I tried came close so I got it.
You know what you want if you clear your mind and give yourself a chance. Also, the only socially unacceptable thing when it comes to your engagement ring is someone making rude and disparaging remarks.
Post # 12
I recommend going into stores to try things out. I didn’t even consider looking online, because sometimes the views are just not good, and of course, there’s photoshop and all sorts of editing done.
I knew I wanted a solitaire, but I was more particular about how the ring looked from the sides, than from the top (just because it ALWAYS looks good from the top!). So I went into the stores, and told them this. They were very helpful. I picked out a few settings, and left the diamond up to DH.
I also think if you want a quad cut diamond, you can damn well have a quad cut diamond.
Post # 13
FI and I did this:
- Put the finances into play and realized we had about 3K (give or take 4K) to work with
- Research online. Figure out which of the 4C’s (if you’re getting a diamond) you are willing to skimp on just in case you can’t afford the size you want, or if you want to downgrade the size instead of getting something that doesn’t have the specs you want.
- I went to BlueNile.com for my first e-ring. It was gorgeous and didn’t break the bank too much. Plus you definitely don’t get the brick and mortar store markup for diamonds. When I went to a jeweler and showed them my 3/4 carat diamond, because of the specs, they said they would sell the same stone for about $6000, when I purchased it for $2100.
- If you aren’t getting diamond, research alternative stones. A lot of people enjoy moissanite (that’s what my current e-ring is, and it’s gorgeous), it’s considered a forever stone, and the price is a fraction of the cost of a diamond.
- If you find something you like online, go to a jeweler and see what it would look like on your finger. It’ll always give you the best viewpoint if you see it on your finger.
- Ask if your FI likes your choices because you don’t want to have a ring you absolutely love and FI absolutely hates, lol
- Make sure you don’t stretch your budget too much unless you absolutely can. That was the mistake I made with the first e-ring so I had to return it 🙁 It was pretty upsetting.
I really hope you find a great ring! And congrats on your engagement! Welcome to the Bee 🙂
Post # 14
@CARA1978: Well the first step is to set a budget, which it sounds like you have sort of done.
Educate yourself on the 4Cs if you want a diamond.
Generally people lean towards a certain style of setting and/or shape of stone. Try rings on to get a feel of what you like, and what looks good.
It is easy to become overwhelmed (believe me, I know!). Sometimes it’s good to take a break from looking, and a particular ring may stick out in your mind.
If you’re not too picky, you could always give some parameters to your FI, like “I like round stones, not square, I want platinum not yellow gold” or whatever, and let him come up with the rest.
Go with whatever makes your heart sing. If you like the quad stones, go for it.
Post # 15
All I asked of my FI was that I wanted an antique! They can be absolutely stunning and cheaper too. My ring is from the 20s/30’s and we paid less than we would have for a new ring. Good luck and have fun with it!
Post # 16
@Miss2Mrs_Beerlover: Antique is an option, but many of the antique rings I’ve seen so far are tiny in size. Did you find yours locally or online?