Not sure how to feel

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8677 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

But is it wrong of her to ask me to help with the wedding if I’m not going to be in it?

No, because being a good friend means you help when people ask for your help.

I think it’s a little unreasonable to expect to be a bridesmaid. I had five bridesmaids and I would never in my wildest dream expect them to make me their bridesmaid. I’d help them in a hot second because, well, I’ve already done it, and wedding planning alone sucks.

If it were me, I wouldn’t bring this up. Her wedding party is her business and whatever her reasons for having such a small party is, it doesn’t really concern you. If you don’t want to help her plan, then tell her you don’t want to. Just don’t say “I don’t want to help because I’m not in the bridal party.”

Post # 4
4043 posts
Honey bee

If you are both close friends and she mentioned you possibly being a bridesmaid before, I see no problem in gently approaching her and simply talking about what your role in the planning process will be. As long as you are polite, then it shouldn’t be a problem to simply talk about it.

Post # 5
4511 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t take it personally. Unfortunately, lots of people say things casually like “youll be in my wedding” long before they have sat down and thought about what they want. Just try to be a good friend and realize her circumstances or how she wants her wedding may have changed.

Post # 8
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@TeganRiley:  Hey, youre allowed to feel a little sad! 🙂 I felt the same way when my best friend and MOH didn’t make me her MOH despite saying she would, but I know she wanted her sister to have that title. I will still be the one helping her, choosing things, taking care of her, taking her dress shopping and the like, because at the end of the day I want her to have an amazing experience and day, even if Im not ‘recognised’ for it 🙂

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