Post # 1
I am sure this question has been asked 100 million times but bare with me becuase it has really been stressing me out.
So heres the story: There are 5 girls that I met in college through my sorority. They are amazing and I love all of them so much. I lived with 3 of the girls for 2 years in college and the other two I never lived with but we all hung out together quite often. I still keep in touch with all of them since graduation and we all went on a girls trip last fall together. However, I do feel closer to the 3 that I lived with because we spent almost every day together.
Here’s my dillemna: I do not have room for all 5 of them in my bridal party (I already have 3 others – my sisters and his sister). My gut instinct is to have the 3 girls that I lived with be my bridesmaids and then have the other two do something else in the wedding. I was thinking about asking them to each do a reading at the ceremony. However, I am really really worried that they are going to be upset and feel slighted. I guess the only other option is for me to not have any of them but I really cant imagine them not being part of my wedding.
So I guess what I’m asking is how awful do you think it is for me to ask the 2 girls to do a reading and the other 3 to be my bridesmaids? Is it going to cause too many problems? I am trying to put myself in the situation and I can honestly say I would not be hurt but I am also a very easy going person.
Help? How would you feel?
Post # 3
@theredhead: I think you might have to choose between just having your 2 sisters and sister in law and no friends or having all 5 friends plus 3 sisters.
Post # 4
To be honest, I would actually make all 5 of them bridesmaids. Why can’t you have 8? I think mine might be the unpopular decision because smaller bridal parties usually = less drama and so are usually the better/more popular decision. However, in this situation, you guys are all really close friends, it sounds like you have all really been there for each other, and it sounds like you have a lot of fun together. If I were you, I would want all of these women involved in the same way to honor their role in your life. I do think excluding two could cause hurt feelings since you guys are usually a group.
I was personally not asked to be a bridesmaid in one of my bridesmaid’s weddings this past summer. I was totally cool and calm on the outside, and I put a smile on my face and supported the bride in anything she needed (wedding advice, dress support, borrowing my bridal sneakers, etc.)… but I can’t say that I still wasn’t hurt and that on the inside it made me sad. I wouldn’t want to make any of my friends feel that way, and if those two girls would potentially still be there for you in the way a bridesmaid is (like I was there for my friend even though I wasn’t officially party of the bridal party), then I think you should just have an 8 person bridal party.
Post # 5
@sharontobemarried: & @star_dust: I absolutely want all of them to be by my side on my wedding day so I guess it really only makes sense to have them all as my bridesmaids. I think I’m just afraid to have 8 bridesmaids while by fiance is only going to have 5 groomsmen. Thank you so much for the input though – you both are absolutely right. I think im stressing over this a little too much.
Post # 6
I had a dilemma picking mine out too and it ended up being my best decision for many reasons. My friend, who has been married 10 years, told me the best advice on how to pick them. “Pick someone you see being in your life forever. This way you don’t look back and regret any decisions.”
I decided not to put one of my brothers Fiance (my future sis-in law) in my wedding because I didn’t think she would be around forever, horrible to say I know. BUT Eventually she broke off the wedding with my brother just 2 months before their date. My older sister intuition was spot on. My other future SIL was my guest book attendant and was with us all day. She felt every part of the day as my bridesmaids did.
What I’m saying is don’t stress about it. If you only want the 3 you lived with do that and don’t look back. Make the other girls guest book attendants or readers. Include them in the whole day, hair, makeup, on party bus/limo if you have one. They’ll feel as much a part of the day as the other girls. Good luck!