Not sure how to tell her…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1087 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you summed it up nicely in your last paragraph:

” Its hard for me to sit and watch them go through with this wedding when they  dont seem to be very happy or caring or loving towards each other.”


I would ask her frankly if she’s happy, and explain that you’re concerned. Maybe ask if the wedding planning is stressing her out too much or if there are underlying issues. It may just be a phase where she’s overwhelmed, and not handling it well, or something deeper may be going on.

Don’t come at her like she’s being a “beotch” because you don’t know what else is going on. As you said, this is uncharacteristic for her, and maybe she needs someone to talk to her, or take some more burden off the wedding planning.



Post # 4
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@8ozdragon:  oh that’s a tricky situation. i think that if i was in your shoes and the friend was a very close one to me, i would gently talk to her and say something like, “i know that relationships are essentially very private and no one but the two people involved can really know how it’s going, but as your friend, i just want to ask you if you are happy and feel ready about getting married.” and if she says yes, there’s no problem, maybe you could say that’s great, what are your favourite qualities about him, what are some things he does or says that make you really happy, etc. – draw out the positives to see if there are any that you might not see on the surface. 

Post # 5
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@metalbride:  +1   Just check in on her and find out if she is happy.  But tread lightly!

Post # 6
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@metalbride:  another +1

Come at it from the direction of being concerned over whether or not she’s truly happy–because you are. Maybe there’s some underlying problem that she hasn’t talked to you about. Or maybe she’s just being terrible. But as her friend, I’m sure you want to believe the best of her. It’s certainly a tough situation to see your friend unhappy.

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