(Closed) Not sure if a bachelor party is being planned. What should I do?

posted 5 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Stereotypes ahead!

almost all the parties my husband has attended have been fairly last minute beer/bar/maybe strippers kind of things. I think they probably have an assumption that they’re going to do something but its less likely to be as much of a planned event as yours.  I think it’s reasonable to contact the groomsmen. I’d do it under the premise that you’re assuming it will be in the days leading up to the wedding if its happening and you just need to be able to make arrangements to accommodate other demands on his time. 

Post # 4
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would contact both of them and just ask for a heads up on a date, like @SapphireSun:  said. Our wedding is still months away, but I’m worried that my FI isn’t going to get a bachelor party because I don’t really have that much faith in his brother/best man (and I think that’s why he’s been commenting about a joint party).

Post # 5
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yes, I thnk it would be inappropriate for you to contact the groomsmen and ask their plans. The bachelor party, if they’re having one, is for them to plan and throw for your guy. Never in all the bachelorette parties I’ve been to has the groom been involved in the planning at all.

Post # 6
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Honestly, I would stay out of it.

Post # 7
Member
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think if you have activities planned for the days leading up to the wedding, it’s not unreasonable to ask them in order to ensure there are no time conflicts.  I wouldn’t ask them the specifics of what they plan to do, although you could offer to help if they need anything (which they probably won’t).  My FI and I are not doing separate parties, so of course we’re planning ours together.

Post # 9
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Just went thru the same this myself, wedding is 9 weeks away and we have a wedding party which consists of only 1 of my BM and 1 of his GM being local. I was feeling worried as my girls have booked a trip out of town for us all to meet and have a wine tasting tour/go out as a group. His, did not plan a thing. So today I just texted and asked if there was a date planned, ofcourse his BM said no so I asked what a good date was, and suggested a weekend that I knew he was free. Then I just asked his BM if he wanted me to help with planning so it would stay a suprise- worked out great! Don’t be afraid to ask, if you feel you are stepping on toes just add in a quick “I just want to make sure he gets a final night out!” in there and they will understand you’re just trying to help not ruin their fun 🙂

Post # 10
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Other than reminding the groomsmen that you would prefer that bachelor activities not overlap with wedding activities, I vote to stay out of it.  The less you know, the better.  Most of these posts are brides freaking out about their FH’s bachelor party.  My FH and his groomsmen have been instructed to have the bachelor party any night they want before the wedding except the night immediately before the wedding because I don’t want drunk/hungover groomsmen embarassing me or in my pictures.

Post # 11
Member
2183 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

I reached out to DH’s best men (he had two) and helped them plan it because they wouldn’t have done it on their own. I knew what he wanted to do, and I really wanted him to have that night and that fun. They went to a comedy club and out to dinner, finishing the night with video games. It’s my husband’s kind of night.

Post # 12
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@windcriesamy:  yeah, I’d ask just for scheduling purposes.  Last thing you want is to be thinkjng youre doing brunch with grandma the morning after. 

Post # 13
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I went back and forth on this, but at the end of the day it’s their party to throw. I chose to stay out of it. And actually, unbeknownst to me there was a bach party being planned, but at the end of the day FI said he did not want one, so it went out the wedding.

Just like you wouldn’t tell your girls to throw you a party, you shouldn’t tell them to throw one. 

The topic ‘Not sure if a bachelor party is being planned. What should I do?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors