Not sure if contributed to gift – how to word Thank You note?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would be very surprised if it was also from the children. Why would it be?  Just because they are related?  I’m not sure why you would make that leap, I would assume they did not give you a gift if their names were not on the card or on the check.

Post # 4
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

If the card was only signed by two people, the gift was only from two people. 

Thank those two, and don’t send anything to the couple that didn’t gift. 

It would be very awkward to open a thank you for your generous gift card if you hadn’t actually given one.  It would seem like a real slap in the face.

Post # 5
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

why would it be from them if they didn’t sign?

Post # 6
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I think the signs all point to the extra people NOT being part of the gift. But yah, awkward. 

Post # 7
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

Card signed by only the parents, contained check from only the parents, warrants a thank you to only the parents. 

Post # 9
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@krystalite:  Even if they did contribute to the gift, not signing the card means that they didn’t care to be recognized.  You can only guess based of the info that they gave you, after all!

Post # 10
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If the card was only signed from the two of them, the gift was only from the two of them.  They are your husband’s parents, so a sizeable check isn’t that surprising!

Post # 12
Member
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@krystalite:  ya if the card is only signed by them then its only from them. I would assume that if I were in your position. If for some reason say the wife of BIL comes back and says something about not being thanked then just make sure you keep the cards and say “oh my gosh Im so sorry for the misunderstanding. The card we received only had _____ names on it”. Its pretty clear! AND you have proof and they were ones who screwed up if they didnt sign it but were supposed to. Your not mind readers!! 🙂

They are married grownups with kids?? they shouldnt be doing joint cards anyways…..

 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
297 posts
Helper bee

If I was in any way unsure, I’d play it safe and put that thank-you for all of them. If they queried it, then I would just say that you received a generous cash gift from the parents, and took it to be a family gift. I think that is the safer option here, particularly if they are sensitive about that kind of thing.

 

Post # 15
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@krystalite:  The general consensus on these boards is that the reception is the thank you to the guests for attending the wedding.  Thank you cards aren’t sent for attendance without bringing a gift because it can come off like you’re asking where your gift is.  That being said, you know your guests better than we do.

Post # 16
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Greenbrier Country Club

Because there were only 2 names on the card, just address those people. If the peole in question did contribute, they should have been included in the card. <not your fault. Don’t worrie about it. Just send out the thank yous based on who indicated they gave you the gift.

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