Post # 1
Ok so when I sent my STD’s I asked the future in laws if they had people that we needed to invite, my FFIL gave me his list and noone else did, so I asked again and didn’t get a list, and noone said they even had one so out went my STDs. I ordered my invites 2 weeks ago, and today my future grandfather in law (and boss) informed me I needed to invite all of our company to the wedding and a slew of oot guests. I would have been ok with this had they done it before I ordered the invitations, well ok with the oot family, but I am not ok with inviting our company (30 or so people all having husbands, wives, children, dates). A) I don’t get along with everyone that works there B) FI and I want a smaller wedding C) Our venue really doesn’t have that much room…..
I am so angry I could scream…
Post # 3
That’s totally unfair of him, and awkward with him being your boss. Are they footing the bill? Even so, most people don’t have that much extra room at the venue. I’m sorry.
Can your FI talk to his family?
Post # 4
I think if you already ordered invites and are fine with your list, there is no need to add additional people. It looks like the family had plenty of opportunities to add to the list and failed to take you up on your offer. In regards to the company, I definitely don’t think you should have to invite the entire company. I would just tell your future Grandfather in law that this occasion will be on the smaller scale and is for family only. There is no need to have people you don’t get along with attend your special day.
Good luck and don’t get upset! Keep your sight on what you want!
Post # 5
I would have your fiance handle this one, since it’s his family. I would definitely not give in on this one either. You gave everyone plenty of notice for needing guest lists, plus, since when does the grandfather in-law’s entire company get to come to a wedding? Ridiculous!
Post # 6
Luckily you have already booked your venue so it gives the perfect out!
Your FI can deal with this one since it is his family. “No can do, Grandfather, the venue cannot hold any more people. Too bad you didn’t respond earlier before we booked the venue.”
Post # 7
I agree that you should have your FI handle this. It’s not something you need to put yourself in a bad position over.
Post # 8
oh my, that really sucks– you are not being a ‘zilla at all!
I totally agree with what @julies1949: and @GreenGables: said.
if you in-law / boss puts his foot down and nobody in the family can talk him out of it, can there be a compromise? like, have him narrow the list down to a much smaller number of people?
it is totally unreasonable for him to ask you to add 30 people along with their plus ones after you have booked your venue!!
Post # 9
The future grandfather in law is paying for our wedding, our original plan was to elope to Jamaica (which we booked) until they (FIs family) threw a fit, and I told them since I couldn’t afford the wedding I wanted that we WERE eloping. The next day I got a very large check….
Our guest list is at 71 people with an additional 10 children, and I know that alot of times a lot of people won’t come, but ours is mostly very close friends and family. We have a lot of friends who are not invited. With the extra work people that brings it up to 97 with 14 kids (3 of who are terrors) and this doesn’t include the oot guest who most likely will not come…
I’m so frusturated, why wait until 90% of the wedding planning is done and THEN tell me I need to invite more freaking people….
Post # 10
I guess I miscalculated in my first post 30 people from work… its more like 15 + 1s because some of work (friends of FIs before they started working there and family) will already be at the wedding, but still ridiculous
Post # 11
@Miss Mitzie:wow, that is really annoying. and rude. and obnoxious. but yeah, since they are paying for it… I think your hands are kind of tied.
Post # 12
Sadly, he who pays the piper genrally calls the tune….no matter how obnoxious the tune is. Have your fiance explain the issue of how many the venue can accomadate, see what he says and go from there.
Post # 13
As nicely as u can,tell him the reason y u cant.