- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
I can’t really tell this to any of my close friends because they’re all my bridesmaids, and my mom is super pumped about the wedding, BUT: I’m having serious doubts about my engagement/relationship.
We have been dating for 3.5 years, we’ve lived together for over 2, and we’ve been engaged for 6 months. I love him very much, and he is my best friend that I can tell anything to.
Here is the problem:
We cannot stop fighting, and these are blow out fights about things from our apartment to how much we support each other to healthy lifestyle habits.
We didn’t used to fight like this, but he tells me that I make him feel like he is a bad fiancee because he feels that nothing he ever does is right. I don’t notice myself doing this, but when he says this, it makes me feel like I am a huge b, and I have asked him straight up several times: Why are you with me? He tells me that he loves me, I make him happy, and I feel like home. It’s very confusing and contradicting and frustrating. When he says that kind of stuff, it #1 hurts my feelings, and #2 consistently makes me wonder why in the world he is with me if I apparently make him feel that terrible.
Before we got engaged, I had had thoughts of breaking up, but living together makes it very difficult, and again, I can’t see myself loving anyone more than him. He is generally pretty amazing with some flaws that we all have.
I just don’t know if the fighting ever stops or how to make it better.
Part 2 of the problem is that we live together. I know this is small potatoes, but most of the actual stuff (not posters or some pots and pans) is his. If we were to break it off, not only would I not have any stuff, but I would be stuck with a lease that I cannot afford, and I cannot get out of unless I somehow come up with almost $2000 to break my lease.
And I’m terrified that I’ll regret breaking up with him and regretting it.
So, long story short, I’m not sure if I should break it off, and I would like some advice.
Thank you so much!