Post # 1
My FH and I aren’t really on the same page when it comes to wedding expenses and whatnot. He is kind of cheap and he doesn’t understand why I would want to shell out any amount of money towards alcohol at our wedding. He thinks it would be a good idea to buy a bunch of beer, put it in iced buckets and have our guests pay for each bottle they consume. I about died! We are having an outdoor wedding. Very laid back and kind of bbq style since it fits us very well considering we are from a very close, small town. I agree with buying beer in bottles since our venue doesn’t allow kegs…(yes kegs seem very crazy to some people but it is so us…lol) Anyway, he also said that having a “dollar dance” was a good idea….??? I have heard so many times and read so many articles about how “tacky” (their words, not mine) a dollar dance and making guests pay for drinks can be. I want to know how to get him to meet me in the middle so I don’t make anyone feel like they have to shell out money for our wedding since they are traveling, buying a gift and most likely having other babysitting/scheduling issues. I just don’t want to inconvenience anyone…help???
Post # 3
Do you have the option of supplying your own alcohol, or do you have to buy it through your venue? If you get to supply it, you could always just slowly stock up on cases before your wedding. That way, the cost won’t hit you all at once. Were you planning on trying to offer a full bar? You could reduce the cost by just offering beer and wine. You can score wine for pretty cheap at places like Trader Joe’s. We stocked up well before our wedding so we didn’t notice the cost as much 🙂
The dollar dance is often times customary depending on your culture. The ones that I have seen haven’t been much of a cash grab, just a dance with the bride in exchange for $1. If you’re not comfortable with it, I’d just try and explain that you don’t want to do it (since you’d be the one dancing with people!).
Post # 4
This is a tough situation. I have to admit that cash bars and dollar dances (unless it is a cultural tradition) are not my favorite. A good compromise might be to set up a honeymoon or wedding gift fund website. Your guests can give you monetary contributions to your honeymoon or wedding. My husband and I set up a honeymoon gift fund and 60 % of our guests contributed. We got great feedback from the guests who used the site and every couple we have suggested this idea to has used the service. Good luck!
Check out the following websites if you are interested:
Post # 5
@Blueshoes2: Absolutely! The whole dollar dance is just so awkward to me. I am not one to enjoy the spotlight much, nor am I one to make anyone feel as though they should pay for anything at any event I invite them to. I know how I would feel if I had to pay for certain things..As far as alcohol goes, we just planned on buying a bunch of different types of beer and having random wooden barrels of ice to keep them cold. Our venue doesn’t supply alcohol or food, which is good because we wanted to do it all ourselves. As far as wine goes, we were just going to buy a case or two since our wedding won’t be much over about 50-75 people…Our families definitely like to drink at special occasions so I think it is important to have at least multiple beer and wine options as much as we can afford. Our families are both so much fun and very close to us, as well as our close friends…All I honestly care about is having fun and keeping my guests on the dance floor 🙂 I couldn’t imagine having my guests pay for anything….
@HapaBride: That is a wonderful idea for sure! I will run it by the FH and see what he thinks 🙂 Thank you so much.
Post # 6
here in nm its a cultral things its basically blessing the bride and groom with money and wishing them prosperity for the future. My cousins wedding the guests paid the bride and groom to dance with them and my friends wedding the guests pin money all over the bride and groom! i for one do not want pin holes all over my dress!! but i would do an open bar if money allows and hold a dance for your guests to par take in
Post # 7
@SweetCheeks: I don’t know about the dolar dance, since I’ve never seen one, but If you are going to make guest pay for their own booze, you might as well just have a dry wedding and save yourself the trouble.
Post # 8
@helenberrycrunch: That’s what I am sayin! 😉 I would never make them pay for their own alcohol. However, I was recently a Maid/Matron of Honor at my best friends wedding and she had a cash bar. I was a little surprised but over half of her guests were religious types who don’t drink anyway…so I guess it was definitely a better choice and much more affordable for her 🙂
Post # 9
@SweetCheeks: First, I’d like to mention that different cultures and regions have different views of what is “tacky” or not. For instance, around here cash bars are incredibly common and no one bats an eyelash at them or thinks they’re rude. Dollar dances are extremely popular in some countries and guests would actually be weirded out if there wasn’t one at a wedding!
I think doing the beer in buckets thing sounds fun for a casual BBQ wedding, but if you don’t want your guests to pay, you could just have it up for grabs instead? I don’t think that would be too expensive so maybe that is a way your Fiance and you can meet in the middle. Also, I think unless you’re from a culture where dollar dances are common, you shouldn’t do it.
Post # 10
He thinks it would be a good idea to buy a bunch of beer, put it in iced buckets
This part sounds great
and have our guests pay for each bottle they consume.
This part is pretty rude.
You’re already getting a great deal since you don’t have to pay venue prices for alcohol which is a lot so its not going to put you back too much.
Post # 11
First, I don’t agree with the idea that its better to have a dry wedding than to have guests pay for drinks. I’ve been to dry weddings before… and I would have paid ALOT just to get a beer if there had been an option.
We threw money towards our bar… which ended up lasting us through cocktail hour and about an hour or so into the reception. After that, it was a cash bar.
I do agree with PP’s ideas to start buying the beer now, so its a smaller cost over time. Some bigger chain liquor stores also give you a discount for buying in bulk… (i.e. you might get 15% off for buying so many cases of beer…)