Post # 1
I’m not sure what to call our dress code. Nothing about our wedding is especially formal, but I also don’t really want people showing up in jeans, tees or flip flops. Here’s the details::
Our wedding is October 5th, 3:30pm. The ceremony and reception will both take place outside in the FI and I’s vineyard adjacent to his family’s homestead in the country. We will be wrapping up the ceremony at 10pm and heading downtown with our guest to party in the urban setting near hotels. My bmaids are wearing the same color, but different styles like sundress / business casual dresses. The men are in suites.
I want to suggest something between “Semi-Formal” and “Casual”. Semi-formal suggest men should wear suites. I think that would be a bit much for our wedding. Women in cocktail dresses / skirts+top. My bmaids aren’t even wearing cocktail style. But I’m afraid “Casual” can be seriously misinterpreted.
Is Business Casual an acceptable term for wedding attire? I think it’s implied when you say Casual on a wedding invite, but you know what happens when you assume something . . . I’ve also read post that don’t like adding “Business”. Guest start asking where other people shop for work clothes. I don’t want people to feel too stuffy! Ug. Am I over thinking this?
I read did someone suggest “Smart Casual” or “Informal, but Classy”. Thoughts on these terms? Help!
Post # 3
Why do you have to mention an attire at all? Unless it’s black tie, allow people to wear what they want. I’m assuming you know and invited people who can dress properly for a wedding without being told….
Post # 4
@DJones69: I worry about some family memebers . . .
Post # 5
Agree with DJones69
You dont’ hve to mention anything. Most people know what to wear to a wedding.
Post # 6
You are describing business casual. If you have a wedding website, I recommend putting it in the FAQ section with lots and lots of pictures to help people get an idea.
Post # 7
And if anyone is going to show up dressed inappropriately, unfortunately those are usually the people who would ignore such a note. But none of the weddings I have been invited to ever mentioned dress code unless it was going to be very casual or black tie. Otherwise people just use common sense…I didn’t put anything about dress code on our invites, and most guys wore a dress shirt/pants and most of the girls wore dresses. Is there some reason you forsee this being a problem with your friends/family?
Post # 8
I wouldn’t say business casual because to me, that implies professional-looking clothes, like no short skirts, sleeveless or strapless, etc, which are things that I think would be appropriate for a wedding. I think “smart casual” gets to what you’re describing
ETA: though, “smart casual” usually leads my dh to wear nice jeans and a sport coat when we go out to dinner at a restaurant with that description, so if you don’t want jeans you maybe should say semi-formal. I don’t think he’d wear jeans to a wedding, but if you really want to avoid them I’d err on the more formal side of the spectrum
Post # 9
@VineyardBride105: Then you’re going to worry about them regardless. Besides, I know some people who would take business casual and turn that into jeans and a nice top and although that may be appropriate for an office, I don’t particularly think it’s appropriate for a vineyard wedding, no matter how casual it is.
So don’t mention attire. They’ll get the idea. Outdoors at a vineyard. A nice summer dress, men with slacks and a shirt or a suit. No one is going to turn up in a tux.
Post # 10
I googled “smart casual” and saw things similar to business casual. I voted “smart casual” too since it seems to flow more with a wedding than the words “business casual.” People in the know will figure it out. However, people who don’t care will still come poorly dressed – not sure if mentioning this will help those family members you are worried about. If they don’t know how to dress appropriately in most cases, you will probably suffer the same fate UNLESS mom, dad, aunt or uncle pulls them aside and helps them figure it all out.
Post # 11
Smart casual or informal dress.
I agree that if you just put casual that people will think they can roll up in god knows what! Take a look at Emily Post’s website on wedding etiquette. She does a great job of breaking down what each definition includes and doesn’t…and you can pick from there.
Post # 12
@Wonderstruck: That’s a good point. I just know my immediate and extended family usually err on the side of quite casual, so I want to provide some guidance.
It sounds like I am over thinking it. I wasn’t going to put anything on our mail invites, just filling out our wedding website at the moment. Thanks for bringing me back to reality, everyone.
Post # 13
I like smart casual personally. It flows better and it gets the point across.
Post # 14
Yeah I agree with PP. I wouldn’t write anything about dress on your invitations. If you have a wedding website, you could put plenty of pictures under recommended dress but I don’t think most people will show up too far either way. If it’s family you’re concerned about, could you just talk with them and explain?
Post # 15
use resort casual wording.
Post # 16
I faced a similar situation and decided not to mention it at all… I too was worrired about certain family members, but then I decided it wasn’t worth the energy worrying over. If they are dressed more causually than I would like, it doesn’t reflect poorly on our wedding day. Hopefully, because they know and love me, they will try at least a little, but the important thing is that I want them there to celebrate with us, no matter what they’re wearing!