Post # 1
Hello Bee’s …. this is my first post and I need a little help ! I got engaged a few months ago and my wedding is about 8 months away. I already have asked my wedding party to stand up for me but now I’m starting to question if one of them really wants to be in it. This girl in question is one of my best friends and in fact, just last year i was her maid of honor in her wedding ! I was dress shopping with her 2 years before her wedding, planned the ‘over the top” bachelorette party that she wanted, was on the phone for hours a day helping with everything from flowers to M&M’s… and now that it’s my turn to be the bride she seems to want nothing to do with any of and its really hurting my feelings. It all started when I got engaged and she never responded to my “I’M ENGAGED!” text message I sent out or anything that was posted on facebook about the ring or anything. I didnt think anything of it and called her a few days later to talk about everything. But now things are starting to add up…any time i bring up my wedding she changes the subject, tells me she has to go or doesnt write back if it’s by text. We hung out for the first time since I got my ring and she never asked to see it. I texted her that I bought my wedding dress and it took her almost a week to say anything back. This past weekend was our Engagement party and she texted me the day of that she wasn’t coming because she was called at home the night before to come into work for overtime on our party day ( we don’t work at the same place but we do work for the same company and I know that that is just not done!). I haven’t heard anything out of in days and I just wish she would tell me the truth of whats going on. Do you think I should ask her if she really wants to be a part of the wedding or am I just being crazy ?
Post # 3
Yeah, I would talk to her.
One of my BM’s really wanted to stay in the wedding party but with her moving far away, college, lack of car and other things I had a talk with her since she was absent for a lot of my wedding planning, barely answered my FB messages, text messages and phone calls I finally got a hold of her and asked her what was up, she confessed how busy she has been and how busy she will continue to be for the next year so she gracefully bowed out and will be attending the wedding as a guest.
Maybe that is what is happening to your BM? She is busy and life is catching up to her? It is disheartening that she may be avoiding you for alternative reasons, but all the more reason to talk to her, find out what has her avoiding you or neglecting her job as a good BM.
I don’t think you’re being crazy, she has given you enough suspicians to warrant a discussion about her actions and how she is making you feel. If she is of reasonable mind she should respond positively at the worst she will pull out because she cannot take on the task of being a BM, but at least she would own up to it.
Post # 4
If you tell her you want her out due to non-participation, you will create oodles and oodles of drama, and it may irreparably damage or end your friendship. If you aren’t interested in maintaining contact or friendship with this person, confront them. If you are, just ignore the obnoxious behavior and turn to people who are more supportive of you. As long as you can get her in one place long enough to make sure she’s got her dress and will show up on time, that’s all that really matters, right?
Post # 5
Whilst i undestand that you are disappointed that your friend isn’t living up to your expectations the thing is is that they are your expectations not hers. In life it is really bad to compare yourself to others and what you would compared to what they would do because everyone is different.
But on top of that maybe something is going on in her life? Maybe she is having money or marriage problems? have you taken a breath and asked her about her life recently? Sometimes people don;t want to bring a happy person down with their own problems. I mean if she is having marriage problems a year after her marriage do you really think she wants to talk marriage and be all happy happy with her happily engaged friend?
Post # 6
Well…..She waited until 15 minutes befor my rehearsal dinner started and called to tell me she got “sick” (her husband was even yelling fake illnesses in the back ground…I think I even hear bird flu was one of them). This was after I already talked with her and told her if she didnt want to be a part of the wedding to please let me know so I could replace her and she told me that she did want to be in the wedding and how much our “friendship” ment to her….. Needless to say we are no longer friends…. and not by my doing… she waited until I was on my honeymoon and started posting nasty messages about me on facebook and what a bad friend I was (I guess she needed to say something to help her sleep better at night)….All I can say is… this bitch is crazy and I’m happy to start my new life without her !
Post # 7
@CinderellaBride: So did she show up for wedding at least? And that’s awful that she would do that to you right before the big event! Evening stringing you along for all those months instead of just being honest was so rude on her part. Sorry you had to deal with such a shitty friend, but hope your day was beautiful!
Post # 8
No…. Due to the fact everyone was starting to arrive i didnt have time to listen to her fake cry on the phone …so i hung up and sent her a text that if she was that sick ahe needed to stay home and take care of herself. She wrote back like a half an hour later that she would come and walk down the aisle and take pictures and then go home … due to my mother and my husbands grandmother have health issues….i told her to stay home and i would talk to her when i got home from the honeymoon. I had another friend step in and run to davids bridal and buy a dress. It was a few sizes too big and i had to safety pin her in but i found out who my true friends were that day . At the end of it all , i wish i would have went with my gut and kicked her out months ago (i didnt even get into everything else that happened !)..i hope i save other brides from having to deal with this !