Post # 1
My really good friend is getting married and I was so excited when she asked me to help out. She isnt sure if I’ll be a bridesmaid or just present the unity candle. Its on Nov. 23rd, which is the Saturday before Thanksgiving. The wedding (is in my hometown) and will be an 11 hour drive for me and I would have to use one of my (very very few) paid vacation days to travel there. I would leave on Friday, spend Saturday at her wedding and then I would drive back early Sunday so that I could be back at work on Monday. Normally, this would all be ok, but I only see my parents once a year and was planning to visit them during Thanksgiving just a few days later. If I drove down for her wedding, I would bee too busy helping out with her wedding to even see my parents. Then, there would be no way I could take off the day before Thanksgiving to drive back down again to spend Thanksgiving with my parents. Plus, if I skipped her wedding and went over Thanksgiving, I would have 3 days and could see her and my family.
I’m just not exactly sure what to do right now because I’m so flipping excited that she is getting married and I really want to be there for her, but I’m also torn because I will miss the chance to visit with my parents. AND, I haven’t been home for Thanksgiving since 2006 🙁 It makes it harder because I agreed to help out before I knew the wedding date so she is under the assumption that I will be there and I really don’t want to hurt her feelings if I cant make it.
What would you do?
Post # 3
I would not participate in the wedding. Be honest and tell her how excited you are about her upcoming nuptials but because you were not aware of the wedding date, you accepted her request in a hastily manner. I think she will understand. It’s better to tell her now rather than wait.
Post # 4
@sheepandbear: You really can’t take a few days off between her wedding and Thanksgiving? (Sorry if I sound rude) I don’t know how much time you get off from work, and what the rules are, but if it were me I would just make a weeks vacation out of her wedding and Thanksgiving, especially with only seeing my parents once a year.
If it’s really non-negotiable for you with taking time off, I think it’s understandable that you would want to see your parents. I actually think it’s kind of rude that your friend expects all this stuff of you but hasn’t decided if you’ll be a bridesmaid yet. But since she has these expectations, you should let her know ASAP if you can’t be there so she can plan accordingly. If she is a good friend, she’ll probably be disappointed for a while but she’ll understand why it is the way it is.
Post # 5
Could you leave after work on Thursday, drive half way and stay at a motel overnight? That way you would arrive about noon the next day and have all afternoon and evening to spend with your parents.
Is it possible to fly to your hometown saving many hours of travel time?
Post # 6
@julies1949: Its not possible to fly because my husband would be coming with me and that’s $600+ 🙁 Leaving after work Thursday would actually work… but I’m still kind of sad to miss Thanksgiving since we had been planning on it since last Thanksgiving and I haven’t had my grandmas cooking since 2006.
@nawella: Oh man, I would really love to do that lol. I just got hired 2 weeks ago so I dont have many benefits yet and if I take those extra days off, I would lose 3 days of pay. I’m already going to have to take a day or two unpaid days off for my wisdom teeth (on top of paying to get them taken out.)