Not sure what to do, wedding, elope, wait? Need Advice/Opinions

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t think there’s any ideal scenario here. You just need to weigh pros and cons and pick the best option.

I would probably take immediate family and go to the courthouse if you don’t think you can stomach planning a slightly bigger wedding/nice dinner (not that it takes a TON of planning, but if you’re sick, you’re sick).

Basically determine what’s more important – being married or having a wedding. That’s what it comes down to really. For me, I would want to be married, so I would do pretty much anything to make it happen quickly and easily.

Post # 4
2042 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@AlwaysLoverly:  You dont have to be married for your baby to have his last name. 

Post # 6
3836 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@AlwaysLoverly:   Can you do a small wedding when you feel better, and a reception much later?  You could wear your tea length dress for the reception, and make the whole decor very wedding style.  For the wedding now, perhaps a long dress?  

Post # 7
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It is your option, but one thing to be aware of; There can be legal complications of having a baby and not being married first.  Nothing to be fearful of, but to be aware of.  I would definatly look up local laws about paternity/custody and be aware of these when making your decision. 

Also, not trying to freak you out, but it’s definatly another layer to talk with your FI about when discussing how you wish to proceed.


Post # 8
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@AlwaysLoverly:  I would say go for the shot gun wedding than after have a “real” wedding. Or just take your FI’s and Baby’s name later on. There is no harm in that.

Post # 9
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Congrats!! Yaaa for babies (even if their timing is off LOL)!! 

You could always do the courthouse with your family and once your little peanut is here do a vow renewal with reception – so that you aren’t missing out on having a wedding Smile

Post # 10
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

If I were you, I would do would be to talk to the doctor to see if there is any way you can combat the morning sickness. Maybe you already have and there isn’t anything you can do… but that was my first thought.  That way you can try to quickly pull together the intimate outdoor wedding with dinner after like you wanted before it gets too cold. You could also wear a cute cardigan over your dress (I did).

Otherwise, it may be better to have your intimate wedding this winter at a lovely indoor spot.  Your dress will be fine! I know that’s not your first choice because you wanted outside, but it sounds like your priority is being married before the baby comes (I get that completely — I would want the same thing).

Post # 11
5812 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@AlwaysLoverly:  I think you should have a small courthouse marriage ceremony with just family. They will understand that you might be able to have a meal afterward if you feel sick. But start planning a wedding for a year after you give birth. Do the legwork now, so you wont have as much to do when you have a baby. 

Best of both worlds!

Post # 12
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Can you have a small destination wedding with family?  Somewhere warmer w/cheap flights?  What about Vegas?  A lot of the hotels have packages they can put together for you, that way you won’t have to do so much planning.


If that is too much, I”d do the courthouse followed by a nice dinner and plan an anniversary party next year where you can go all out.



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