Post # 1
Ok, so I will try and keep this short and sweet. My fiance and I have been engaged for over a year. Originally, our wedding was planned for October 26th (last Saturday). Some things with his family and the venue came up so we postponed the wedding until April 26th of 2014. Well, I am pregnant and due May 26th! I am not getting married at 8 months pregnant, but I do want to have my fiance’s and my new baby’s last name when he/she arrives, so we need to get married before the baby is born, I think.. We have talked about going to the courthouse, and I don’t mind the idea, but it just seems so “shot-gun wedding style.” We have talked about having a small ceremony in a public park and just going to a nice dinner with everyone after, but I have hyperemesis (really severe morning sickness) and I dont know if I will feel well enough to plan and attend a wedding (even if it is my own) until I am further along and it has passed. Also, my ideal wedding is outside, but I live in Oklahoma and it is starting to get pretty chilly outside, so that makes me think I can’t have the wedding I want if we do it now. Also, I absolutely love my wedding dress and will wear it, but it’s a tea length dress which doesnt make me think of late fall/winter weddings. Also, we thought of eloping, but my FI’s mother would kill me if she wasnt there. I know there has to be a great compromise that I am just not thinking of. Does any one have ideas or opinions? Thank you for reading and helping me!
Post # 3
I don’t think there’s any ideal scenario here. You just need to weigh pros and cons and pick the best option.
I would probably take immediate family and go to the courthouse if you don’t think you can stomach planning a slightly bigger wedding/nice dinner (not that it takes a TON of planning, but if you’re sick, you’re sick).
Basically determine what’s more important – being married or having a wedding. That’s what it comes down to really. For me, I would want to be married, so I would do pretty much anything to make it happen quickly and easily.
Post # 4
@AlwaysLoverly: You dont have to be married for your baby to have his last name.
Post # 5
@jesssamesssa: Our baby will have his last name, but I want to have that last name as well.
& @canarydiamond : It is definitely the marriage that’s important and I always said I wanted a simple wedding (courthouse or elope) but now that it’s here, I feel as if it’s a shot gun wedding and I am forced to choose those options (not because I wanted it).
Post # 6
@AlwaysLoverly: Can you do a small wedding when you feel better, and a reception much later? You could wear your tea length dress for the reception, and make the whole decor very wedding style. For the wedding now, perhaps a long dress?
Post # 7
It is your option, but one thing to be aware of; There can be legal complications of having a baby and not being married first. Nothing to be fearful of, but to be aware of. I would definatly look up local laws about paternity/custody and be aware of these when making your decision.
Also, not trying to freak you out, but it’s definatly another layer to talk with your FI about when discussing how you wish to proceed.
Post # 8
@AlwaysLoverly: I would say go for the shot gun wedding than after have a “real” wedding. Or just take your FI’s and Baby’s name later on. There is no harm in that.
Post # 9
Congrats!! Yaaa for babies (even if their timing is off LOL)!!
You could always do the courthouse with your family and once your little peanut is here do a vow renewal with reception – so that you aren’t missing out on having a wedding
Post # 10
Congratulations on your pregnancy!!
If I were you, I would do would be to talk to the doctor to see if there is any way you can combat the morning sickness. Maybe you already have and there isn’t anything you can do… but that was my first thought. That way you can try to quickly pull together the intimate outdoor wedding with dinner after like you wanted before it gets too cold. You could also wear a cute cardigan over your dress (I did).
Otherwise, it may be better to have your intimate wedding this winter at a lovely indoor spot. Your dress will be fine! I know that’s not your first choice because you wanted outside, but it sounds like your priority is being married before the baby comes (I get that completely — I would want the same thing).
Post # 11
@AlwaysLoverly: I think you should have a small courthouse marriage ceremony with just family. They will understand that you might be able to have a meal afterward if you feel sick. But start planning a wedding for a year after you give birth. Do the legwork now, so you wont have as much to do when you have a baby.
Best of both worlds!
Post # 12
Can you have a small destination wedding with family? Somewhere warmer w/cheap flights? What about Vegas? A lot of the hotels have packages they can put together for you, that way you won’t have to do so much planning.
If that is too much, I”d do the courthouse followed by a nice dinner and plan an anniversary party next year where you can go all out.