(Closed) Not sure when to tell…

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
3943 posts
Honey bee

Please do not announce this at the cousins shower. Yes I know people will say “she only gets one day”, but it’s her shower. Let her enjoy the day.

Post # 4
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I have a friend whose cousin did tell her family about her pregnancy at her actual wedding reception. She was cool and level headed about it. It’s hard to avoid it at a gathering like that when you’re not drinking. I would try to get through it without announcing it to the family, but if it comes out it comes out. 

Post # 5
1564 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Bostongrl25:  Agreed.

I wouldn’t announce at the shower. I would wait and just tell everyone over the next week.

Post # 6
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would try to wait if you can.  I agree that the bride probably won’t be able to tell you not to announce even if you asked her honest opinion beforehand, so that would just put her in an awkward position where she felt pressured to say it was ok.  I think it’s nice of you to consider her feelings.

Post # 7
2078 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Will the family members be around after the shower? Like for dinner or drinks that night or breakfast the next day or something? Maybe you and your Darling Husband can bring that up and plan it. That would be a better time to tell, not during her shower, but after it’s over I think would be fine. Let her have her couple hours of spotlight b/c she deserves that time to celebrate her joy, and then you can announce your news later that day or the next. GL!

Post # 8
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that it would be nice not to tell everyone at her shower. I know it’s not her wedding day, but she only gets a few events that are all about her (like the shower and bachelorette party). Let her enjoy her day!

Post # 9
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with most PP. While it’s convenient that everyone is together, I don’t think it’s very appropriate. Looking back, I probably would’ve been a little bit upset if someone did that at one of my wedding events. I agree with someone that maybe after–if most of the important people are still together, or the next day. Good luck! It sure is a hard secret to keep! 

Post # 10
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t announce. One of my bridesmaid was TTC right before the wedding (everyone knew she was TTC, she even told male friends who didn’t care to know). When she got her BFP at around 2 weeks, she called to tell the girls and informed us she wanted to wait until a little later to announce to everyone else, specifically, she wanted to wait until 5 weeks pregnant to announce (I.e. my wedding date). Honestly, I was a bit perturbed, but got over it quickly. When she started telling people at the wedding, all people really thought, commented on and discussed was how rude it was. It didn’t distract from my and DH’s day, but it made her look bad. A year and half later, some still occasionally comment on it. I’m not saying that she, or you, are intentionally timing it over someone else’s occasion, but that is how it may look.

My vote is if you can do it privately (i.e. call the relatives close to you) on your time, that will be much better recieved than telling at an event for someone else.

Finally, congratulations!

Post # 11
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I +1 to everyone saying no to announcing it at the shower.

Post # 12
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would have been extremely upset if someone had done this at my shower…

Post # 13
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Absolutely do not announce at her shower. This is a party being thrown in someone else’s honour. If you announce this, then as a PP mentioned, all people will probably talk about is how they can’t believe you did that at her shower.


Post # 15
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@mrsjroo:  Absolutely not.  Never announce something like that when it’s someone else’s day to be the center of attention.

Post # 16
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My SIL annouced at my engagement party. Yes she was around 11 wks, but everyones reaction was “really? thats kind of effing rude to piggy back off of someone elses party”.

I personally didnt care because i was excited for her, but thats what you will look like to everyone else. Just annouce it seperately. 

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