Post # 1
Hey everyone, I am newly engaged and I honestly have no idea where to go from here.
My plan was always to elope, I don’t have many friends nor do I have a large family (at least that I am in contact with) and my FI is kind of in the same boat. Basically, a the expense of a wedding just doesn’t make sense to me based on how few people would actually show up to a wedding if I had one.
Since I got engaged though, everyone in my family (excluding my mom) and the friends that I do have are all talking like they are expecting a wedding. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, but I also dont want to put myself and my FI into debt just to keep others happy.
That said, I’m not even sure where to start planning even for an elopement. Are there any sites or blogs that someone can link me to that is more about planning for elopement and not so focused on large weddings?
Post # 3
One of the best things to do is simply Google or search “Elopement packages”.
Doing this will give you the chance to see what’s out there, narrow down what you like and don’t like, what you want and don’t want, and give you a better idea of how one goes about setting up that type of wedding.
Searching for “Elopement blogs” may be helpful as well.
Post # 4
First off, don’t tell people you’re thinkng of eloping. This isn’t about staying shady, it’s about giving yourself the room to make these decisions without too many distracting opinions getting thrown at you.
Another thing is, what does elopment mean to you? Would you like to get out of town? Would you like it to mirror a traditional wedding but just be the two of you? (eg music, cake, the dress, photographer… just no guests). Would you like to do it at a location that can double as a honeymoon location? Is time of the essence? Is it your preference or is it you settling for that.
If it’s strictly about finances and you would prefer to have family and friends there if you could, there are loads of resources that help brides stay on a budget. Weddings do not have to be 100 people.
If you would love to elope either way (even if you had the budget, for example), I’d just keep it quiet til you got back. People are much less likely to cause drama if the deed is already done. But a good place to start is answering those questions. The one thar made planning for me get lazer-focused was the fact that we’re different nationalities and there was a tight time frame. Only very few locations worked. Luckily one was Antigua. Hello, weddingmoon!
Post # 5
You have already received some excellent advice. But I will chime in!
My husband and I “eloped”. We only had our parents in attendance for a beautiful wedding weekend at a St. Augustine bed and breakfast. We didn’t keep our plans a secret. Some people had a problem with it, and still hold a grudge 3 years later. That is fine because it wasn’t about them, it was about my husband and me. If you are easily swayed and distracted I would probably keep it hush-hush so you don’t have to deal with drama or negativity.
I second the idea of google searching elopement packages. Do you have a setting in mind? City-chic, beach, Victorian, Hollywood Glamour, country vintage, etc? It would be easier if you could decide what feel you guys are going for.
Post # 6
I would just say – are you absolutely sure you want to elope? We’re only having my parents and three close friends at our wedding – enough that we don’t have any backlash (my mum would be upset forever if she wasn’t there) but it meets our wish to be small and simple.
As @Bette_Noire: said, you need to think about what eloping means to you. Do you still want the bells and whistles or do you want something very simple? City or country? Do you value photographs, or fancy food or travel….? We decided good food and getting married outside were our key requirements and worked on from there.
There is some info here: http://apracticalwedding.com/tag/elopement/.
Post # 7
Choosing what to do for your wedding day is a combination of feelings, logistics, wants and practicalities.
I would suggest taking a few months to really think of what it is who two would really want. Then you look at your want and compare it with logistics.
We were engaged for 5 months before we came up with an idea that seem to make us happy and we thought would make everyone else happy. Then we balanced that against logistics, finances and practicalities.
in that 5 months, our ideas were all over the place. Try to limit who you discuss these options with to a minimum. I found that I was talking anyone’s ear off and by the time I talked to them again, the idea had changed cmpletely. My mom was also cluess on what was going on, so it would have been best if I just did not update her.
If you’d like to see what other elopers did for their weddings, I think this blog has a nice variety of ideas:
The options really are endless if you don’t have to worry about other people!
More elopement inspirations: http://www.stylemepretty.com/?s=elopement&t=posts